He guzzled his beer, grabbed another for the road, grabbed his shirt and shoes,
and was off.  The flashing lights in his mirror surprised him so much that he
damn near spilled his beer, but managed to hide it under the seat.

"I'll need to see your license and registration sir. Have you been drinking
tonight?  Not at all, eh?  Well I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the
vehicle."  When he opened the door, beer ran out onto the officers' shoes.

As Cliff sat in the back of the patrol car, the cop searched his truck.  He set
three or four beer cans on the roof, and Cliff knew he could explain that they
were just returnables he hadn't redeemed yet.  But then the officer pulled a
baseball bat from the cab, looked at it closely, and walked back to the car.
"Sir, can you explain why the end has been cut off that bat?  The reason I'm
curious is because we just investigated a crime scene yesterday where the knob
end of a baseball bat was found, and if that end matches that bat, you may be in
a bit of trouble."

Cliff mumbled something about needing a small round piece of wood to patch a hole
in a wall somewhere, but the cop stopped him.  "Sir, does any member of your
construction crew have long blonde hair.  There were a few strands of long blonde
hair in your cab."  "I see, a hitchhiker.  Does this receipt for a new 50' heavy
duty extension cord belong to you? It does?"  "Sir, I don't think you should try
to explain any more until you've consulted with an attorney.  By the way, if your
new home is where I think it's gonna be, I hope they let you take your grease gun
with you.  'Cause I hear they don't treat rapists too well. And you know, they
just switched to aluminum bats for the prison softball team.

"You have the right to remain silent.  Or you can tell me where to find your
accomplices.  Then I won't have to zap it outta you with my stun gun on your
balls...