The 57th Notch on the Bedpost Jeanie's maid of honour was Kate - an on-off lover of mine (but now more off than on) for about 4 years. Jeanie had two bridesmaids - one a spotty 14 year old cousin, and the other was Amber - a delightful, lively, talkative, intelligent, precocious 4 year old. I wasn't actually her father - I had missed out on the conception, but I was there for everything else, so that counted for me. Amber's mum Karen was in the pew behind me at the church. She was also an on-off lover of some years. Maybe you should catch up on some of my previous recollections if you want to find out more about everyone. The music struck up, and the bride appeared at the door of the church. She actually scrubbed up quite well I had to admit, but thank goodness I had persuaded them both not to wear his and hers `Spock Ears'. Amber was gently spreading flower petals on the isle in front of the bride - exactly as her mum had shown her. The other bridesmaid looked rather sullen, having been forced to dress up like a fairy. Kate looked fantastic - she gave me a little wink as she went by. The service got underway. I did my bit handing over the ring for Francis (in fact I had already done my bit by stopping his friends tying him naked to a lamp post at his stag party whilst he was paralytic through drink). The vicar - a middle aged, slightly `gone to seed' man, droned on and on and on about the joys of marital bliss. My attention wandered. At the back of the church, I noticed a tall woman, about my age, who clearly had a curvaceous figure, yet was wearing a summer dress of the type that my mother might have worn. It didn't take much imagination to guess that she had some impressive breasts straining at the material. The service got to the part where the bride and groom kissed - I have never seen Francis looking so happy. His nerdy friends seemed amazed that he had actually hooked a girl like Jeanie (but then, he did have a little help from me). The bride and groom went off to sign the register, giving a natural break to the proceedings. I turned to Francis' mother behind me. `Congratulations on gaining a daughter' I said to her. She was relieved that she had finally got shot of her son. `Maybe they will get on with giving me some grandchildren' she joked. `I wonder can you tell me,' I cut to the chase, `who that lady is in the blue dress at the back?' I asked. `That's Teresa, my dear.' she answered. I was starting to form some designs on making Teresa my `Notch 57'. I decided to stretch my legs a little and walked to the back of the church. `Teresa isn't it?' I asked the lady. `Yes' the woman replied quizzically. `I must have met you before somewhere - I know your name!' I quipped. She laughed politely. I hadn't actually thought of what I was going to say next - usually I get inspiration at this moment. `That boring old fart giving the service is a bit dull, isn't he?' I tried. `My husband?' she replied, giggling. Francis' mum hadn't mentioned that little detail. `I am so sorry!' I said, mortified. `That's ok. I love him dearly, but he can be a bit... monotone sometimes.' While she spoke, I took the opportunity to look her over a little more. Her breasts were indeed magnificent (or what I could see of them), and what little cleavage she had showing was lightly sprinkled with freckles that also appeared on her cheeks. Her hair was blond and straight with a simple hair band in it. I found myself wondering what her panties were like. The church organ started up and the congregation was ushered outside. The happy couple emerged. Confetti flew, and the photographer snapped away. I caught sight of Teresa observing the commotion from a little way away. I needed to make a decision. I had never actually gone after a married woman before (admittedly I had a few married lovers, but they were all married after I first fucked them). I bet she had big, sensible knickers on... and amazing breasts..... My decision was made, and I walked over to Teresa. `Hello again. Sorry about before'. I told her. `That's ok' she said brightly `it was true' she replied, brightly. `That he is a boring old fart?' I parried. `No! That he is a little monotone sometimes!' she said exasperatedly. `I am kidding!' I laughed `you clearly love him very much'. `Yes. He is a very kind man.' she said - perhaps a hint of regret in her voice. I changed the subject. `It's a lovely church you have here'. `It is lovely isn't it. It is 16th century. The roof leaks like a sieve though. It doesn't seem to matter what we do, we cant raise the money to sort it out.' I explained that I was something of an expert in asset management - maybe I could help? We made an arrangement for me to visit the vicarage in the next week, and I would have a look through their finances. The happy day continued on: The wedding breakfast went without a hitch. I made my speech, which was littered with Star Trek jokes. I made a few references to the bride and groom both learning about love together, which Francis knew was actually about him and his new wife, who were both still virgins - they had waited so long, they decided they might as well go the whole hog and wait until their wedding day. Francis has asked me for a few tips for when he got to the bedroom that night, and he studiously made a list as I talked him through my top 10 things to do and not do. It was bound to last about 20 seconds the first time, but I really didn't think Jeanie would care. I was a little envious of what they had. The party got underway, the bouquet was thrown (Kate went for it, but missed). The happy couple got into the car together, ready for their honeymoon. I whispered my number one tip into Francis' ear as he got into the car `Don't forget those pictures I showed you on the internet - make sure you are heading for the right hole, at least for the first few times.' The rest of my instructions had been at this level - there didn't seem any point in explaining the best technique of oral stimulation of the labial folds to him. Not yet anyway. Francis thanked me then said `Don't worry, I have your list in my underpants.' Then the car swept them off to their honeymoon. Whilst it is nothing to do with the `Notch 57' incident, something happened that evening that I should recount: The party continued on for a few more hours. Ordinarily I might have picked up a woman, but I was a bit wary of screwing a relative of Francis. The older bridesmaid had other ideas though - she had changed into some very revealing party gear and had evidently been made braver by the freely available wine. She wobbled over to sit next to me behind a table in a quiet corner of the room. `I think I fancy you' she said, slightly slurred `but I think you fancy me more.' She leaned over, and briefly pulled her skimpy top forward so I could see her tits perfectly for a second. Her breasts were actually quite nice - very smooth and perky, and her nipples poked out in puffy cones. Then I felt her hand on my crotch, teasing my penis to life. `Wow you are really huge!' she said. I had never considered myself huge, but I had never had any complaints either. It wasn't unpleasant, so I let her carry on stroking me for a while. `You ever had a virgin before?' she asked, eyes a little glazed. She continued to feel my hard cock beneath my trousers. `Yes. Several times.' She looked a little deflated. `So how old are you?' I asked. `I am seventeen' she lied. It was tempting, but she was too young. `Pity. You are too old for me' I lied to her. `I am 14 really!' she piped up. `Then here is what you do,' I said confidentially into her ear `you have rubbish sex with a few boys your own age, wait a couple of years, then ask me again and I will show you what a really good fuck is like. Now piss off!' My words stung her and she sloped off sulkily. In fact she took my words to heart - an hour later I wandered into a side cloakroom to get away from the noise of the music - these parties were never really my thing. It was dark and fairly peaceful, so I sat quietly for a while in the corner and allowed the ringing in my ears to subside. The door opened and the bridesmaid I saw earlier came in with a boy about the same age in tow. `I think I fancy you', she told him, `but I think you fancy me more.' I managed to suppress a snigger. She was stroking his dick through his trousers (I noted he didn't get the `wow you are huge' line). They kissed (`snogged' might be more accurate). I noticed one of his hands was squeezing her bottom, the other was massaging her breast. When she didn't complain, her pulled down her skimpy top allowing her breasts to spring free. He didn't think to kiss them, he just continued his massage. That accomplished, his other hand moved to her crotch and was rubbing her sex - I couldn't see if it was through her knickers or if they were pulled aside. She seemed to like it. He tugged at them, and when they were off, he flicked them casually over his shoulder in my direction. She had taken out his dick by then and said to him `Make sure you don't come in me.' Of course, like any man would in that situation, her new found boyfriend agreed. They hadn't noticed me. They got down on the floor, and with no preamble, the boy, with his trousers around his knees started fucking her in the missionary position. She cried out as he first entered her, breaking her hymen. He fucked her fast. It wasn't going to last long like this. With a last thrust, the boy planted his sperm in her, then slumped on her exhausted for a minute. I used the moment to pick up her knickers - I can never resist the temptation to leave a woman knicker-less and full of spunk. After a few seconds the girl could feel something wet in her. `You promised you wouldn't come inside me' she complained. `Oh, that's gross - its leaking out!' `Sorry' the boy mumbled, withdrawing from her and pulling up his trousers. The pair started looking for her missing knickers, so this was an opportune moment for me to slip away. There had been some entertainment for me after all. During the rest of the evening, the bridesmaid kept smoothing her skirt down, but every time she moved or bent over it would ride up and flash her bottom. For her unintentional encore, she walked across the dance floor as elegantly as her skirt and the wine she had drunk would allow, then she slipped in a puddle of drink, landing on her bottom and her legs akimbo, revealing her lightly thatched pubes and rather spunky pussy to the rest of the partygoers. A cheer rose from the group of drunken nerds who had the prime view. Her parents however, obviously failed to see the funny side and frog marched her out of the party. When I returned to work the following Monday, I called the vicarage to see what version of Excel they were using. The reply was `What's Excel?'. Why was seduction never easy? I chased around finding an old laptop and some software my company would give them - this was a charitable venture after all. On Thursday I visited the vicarage, and once I had put my boxes down I shook the Vicar's hand (he told me to call him Jonathon), then he introduced me again to his charming wife. He must have been at least 15 years older than her and a few inches shorter. He was slightly balding and rather overweight. He still had his white collar on, and even managed to make the introductions sound like a sermon. Teresa was wearing a simple cream coloured dress, which wasn't really very flattering, and definitely did not make the most of the curves I could see she had. Her hair was partly clipped up on her head, making her look every bit a vicar's wife. I explained to Jonathon what I intended to do, and more importantly, what I wasn't going to do (namely handle any of the money myself - that was their responsibility). I intended to increase their fund by 20% in 6 months. Jonathon was ecstatic, and having convinced him I was not about to steal the whole roof fund he explained that his wife looked after the finances, so I should deal with her. There was apparently something on the radio he was looking forward to, so he made his excuses and left us to it. I set up the laptop. Teresa had never used one before, so this first evening was a lesson on mastering the basic controls. It is surprising what you take for granted - Teresa had never even used a mouse and found the double click routine quite difficult. I held the top of her slender hand, guiding her mouse around the screen, then showed her the click-click method of starting a program. I could feel a little tension in her. `Relax!' I told her, `loosen those shoulders, and tap gently on the mouse button - we are not trying to kill it'. She laughed, and I went around behind her to gently massage her shoulders. I have had some practice at this, and know how someone could take advantage of a woman using this technique. She let a satisfied groan escape. This was good. `You have lovely hair.' I told her, and gently stroked a loose lock `you should try wearing it down'. I believe that a woman's reaction when you stroke her hair will tell you how she feels about you. If she shrinks away from your touch, then you are getting nowhere and it is time to move on. If she plays with it herself or leans towards you to make it more accessible, it is a good sign. `I sometimes wear it down' she told me, and pulled a few clips out allowing her hair to tumble onto her shoulders, making the small lock I had played with earlier turn into a large swathe of hair. This was the subconscious equivalent of telling me she was wet and spreading her legs! I ran my fingers through her long hair, gently twirling it. I noticed she had her eyes shut, and wore a slight smile. I ran my hand down her shoulder and arms back to her elegant mouse hand, then I knelt beside her. `so you click gently once, then again... then you get what you need.' I turned to face her as she turned to look at me. I was a few inches away from her lips. I could see every freckle on her cheeks. Our eyes were locked together. `Look at the eyes, pause, look at the lips, pause. Repeat' I thought to myself. She was subconsciously copying me. I moved very slowly closer and she matched my movements. Our lips were 3 inches apart now. `Pause for a second... wait.... wait.... now!' I thought to myself. I leaned forward slowly and lightly kissed her on the lips, briefly. It was well received, so I kissed her again, then once more with a little more force, gently flicking my tongue into her mouth. It was going so well - a textbook seduction. That is until her husband opened the door. We sprang apart, still somehow appearing to be involved in the new computer, although I would imagine any man with a pulse could see that Teresa was somewhat flushed. `Oh you have put your hair down dear - I think it is tidier when you have it up, don't you?' Jonathon pointed out. `Oh yes. It was annoying me.' Teresa replied rather lamely. `Well, I hate to interrupt your valuable work here Andrew, but it is getting late and I know Teresa has a WI meeting in the morning...' Jonathon continued. `No problem, Jonathon' I replied gamely. `I think we are done here for the evening. Is the same time tomorrow ok for you?' `Well, er...' Jane began, obviously having second thoughts. `Perfect!' Jonathon answered for her. `Teresa, if you want to go up, I will bring up your cocoa as soon as I have seen out Andrew.' The next day I arrived at the vicarage as arranged. Jonathon was in the garden and greeted me. `Andrew, good to see you. I am just seeing to my marigolds - they get unruly if I don't give them enough attention' `A bit like your wife, you idiot' I thought to myself. `Is Teresa indoors?' `Yes, go inside, she cant have gone far'. As instructed I went inside and shut the door behind me. I called out and Teresa came down the stairs and took me through to the study where I had set up the computer. I noticed she was dressed very slightly more provocatively today. Her hair wasn't down, but it wasn't up either - a pleasing compromise. Her dress, whilst not sexy, did have an improved cleavage. Teresa had very nice cleavage. With the study door closed, Teresa spoke to me softly. `What happened yesterday can never happen again' she told me. He words were saying one thing but her body language, hair and clothes were saying something else. I stood directly in front of her. `You mean this?' I asked, leaning forward and kissing her on the lips, a little less gently than before. Then more forcefully, until we were locked in a passionate embrace. It seemed like minutes before we came up for air. `Andrew, this is wrong' she pleaded. `It is wrong that a vivacious, wonderful woman like you is caged in this vicarage.' I answered, then kissed her deeply again, running my hand gently up her side to her breast, enclosed as it was in dowdy dress material. Through the material, her nipple hardened to my touch. She was mine for the taking - all resistance gone. Whilst still kissing her, I pulled up the hem of her dress. I was right about her panties - they were very sensible. I pulled them down, exposing her brown/blond, rather hairy bush. I gently stroked her sex with my finger and I thought Teresa was about to collapse. She was soaking with excitement. She hadn't thought to undo my trousers, so I did it myself. I am not sure if she saw what I was about to give her as she was so caught up in the moment. It crossed my mind that this would be a bad time for Jonathon to walk in. `Jump into my arms - I will catch you' I told her. I don't think she realised what I was proposing, but she did as she was told and I caught her, with her straddled ready for a stand up fuck. I backed her against the wall of the study, erection straining. I managed to guide my penis inside her, intensely thrusting deep into her. She cried out, perhaps in surprise as much as lust. `Shh,' I told her `we mustn't let Jonathon hear.' She got the hang of fucking up and down on me, barely able to keep quite, but somehow she managed to hold it together. Fortunately, when she orgasmed it was a silent one. Both times. It was quite tiring, fucking like that, and when I felt that familiar tingle in my balls, I decided to ask the question `Am I ok to come in you?' `Uh, uh, uh... yes' Teresa replied. I let my sperm go in three spurts, filling Teresa with my spunk. I let Teresa get down. I had already pocketed her sensible undies. `What happened to me then?' she asked in a bit of a daze. I guessed what her quandary was. `That's an orgasm, Teresa. That is what happens when a woman makes love with a man who knows how to please her.' `It was amazing. Is it supposed to happen every time?' `Absolutely. More than once.' I replied. I think for the first time, Teresa realised she needed something more than she was getting from Jonathon. I still had time to sort out the roof fund finances - it really wasn't difficult to transfer the fund details from various notebooks and bank statements to the PC, and in doing so we discovered an additional £1000 that was previously unaccounted for. I advised on a number of safe investments that might be useful, and it was obvious I would have no problem meeting my target. Teresa was an interesting lover. Before I met her, the only person she had slept with was Jonathon. He desperately wanted children, but to do that you probably need to have sex more than once a month. As yet they had no luck in over nine years. As I suspected, Teresa had the most wonderful breasts and bottom - large yet in proportion with her frame. She had only had sex in the missionary position before, so I took some enjoyment of showing her the delights of the various positions and types of sex that were possible. She was showing me the church bell tower (which had some magnificent views over the surrounding countryside), when I suggested she try oral sex. I had pre-planned to have this conversation with her, and I had brought my beard trimmer with which to trim her wild mane of pubic hair down to a more manageable level. I left some there - trimming it all off might have prompted some awkward questions from Jonathon. Then I was able to demonstrate to Teresa how a man can have oral sex with a woman and give her multiple orgasms. However, I had to explain what was involved for her to reciprocate - she couldn't believe that a woman would put something that men `wee' out of into her mouth. `Don't knock it - lots of couples enjoy it' I told her. She gingerly licked my penis as I suggested. It wasn't gross, so she tried it some more. She was soon sucking me like a pro. Perhaps I should have warned her what was likely to happen, but as I enjoyed the views of the town and the fields around me, I just wanted to let my orgasm go. She choked a bit on my sperm, but she was ok. The bell tower became `our place', which we kitted out with some cushions and a blanket - we would still kiss secretly in the vicarage, but it was too risky to fuck her there. Teresa had had her eyes opened to what she should be enjoying and she wanted to know everything that would make her feel good. After a few weeks, I mentioned anal sex. `You put your thingy into a woman's bottom?' she repeated incredulously. `It's a penis, or a knob, or a cock - not a thingy' I reminded her, `and yes, fucking a woman's bottom is an amazing experience for both partners.' Teresa trusted me enough to try it. I fucked her virgin bum hole whilst I fingered her wet slit. She came bucket loads, and soon my semen was deep within her bowels. The guilt of having an affair never left Teresa however. She was returning to her marital bed on the majority of evenings with my sperm within her. Somehow her husband didn't notice the extra semen when he occasionally got around to mounting her, but she still felt what she was doing with me was wrong. Teresa had changed over the couple of months I had been fucking her. Instead of wearing dowdy clothes, she was wearing more alluring ones, and she wore her hair down more often than not. I wondered if the WI was gossiping about her. They had plenty to gossip about - I had fucked her heartily from behind and stolen her panties, before Teresa gave a flower arranging demonstration in the next room to her husband and the group. Only the two of us knew that beneath her dress, a gloop of sperm was sliding down her inner thigh. We had been having our affair for four months - I usually tire of the same woman after two months, but something about her enthusiasm to try anything that made her feel good, and perhaps the danger of being caught, kept the relationship strong. Kate had called a couple of weeks ago to see why I wasn't fucking her anymore. I told her that I was seeing someone else. `That doesn't usually stop you fucking me though!' then the penny dropped. `Andrew is in `Lurve'!' I realised she was right. A few days later, I called around to the vicarage. Jonathon was on some sort of course, so Teresa and I had the pleasure of each other's company for the whole night. Considering it was the first time we had done it in her marital bed, she was rather subdued. After I had come inside her, we cuddled up together, my sperm no doubt dripping onto the rather scratchy sheets. She was snuggled onto my chest, her breasts outside the covers where I could gently stroke them. I asked her what was the matter. `I have something I need to tell you' she said. She paused, bracing herself for my reaction. `I am pregnant.' No woman had ever said that to me before. Not about my baby anyway. `It is mine?' It came blurting out - I should have phrased it better, but she understood. `I am fairly sure it is. I couldn't get pregnant by Jonathon for 9 years, then you come along and... well, the rest is history.' `That's wonderful news!' I didn't know where these words were coming from, but I realised very quickly I meant them. `Have you told Jonathon yet?' I asked, concerned. `No. I thought I would tell the father first.' she seemed a little tearful. `You are going to need a place to stay when you do. There is my place, or if you want you could stay at a flat of mine I have just had renovated.' Words were tumbling out of me. I was so excited by the news. `I'm... going to tell him it's his baby.' Tears were streaming down her face. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. `He has wanted this so much, and he would make a wonderful father' `So would I!' I shouted, then I said `I will tell him then.' `You cant do that. It would destroy him, and it would destroy you and me' I couldn't believe my first opportunity at being a real father and it was slipping away. Of course I couldn't hurt Teresa. `Is there still a you and me?' `I want there to be' she said. I pause while I thought about my next statement. `I want to be involved with the baby - I want to be there as it grows up.' `We can sort something out' she smiled. She leant towards me and kissed me gently. I kissed her sweet lips, then felt her slender fingers trace down to my penis and stroke it to life. `I still love you very much' she told me as she slipped her leg over mine and lowered herself down onto my penis, fucking me slowly until I released inside her once again. We fell asleep with me still inside her. A few days later I got a call from Jonathon. He was very excited, and it was obvious what his news was, although naturally I couldn't let on. He invited me around to the vicarage at 6pm that evening. I arrived to find the place full of parishioners who had all had a similar call. There was an expectant buzz in the room which fell silent when Jonathon stepped onto a chair and spoke to us. `Dear friends.' he preached. `Teresa and I have some wonderful news. After 9 years of trying, I am very pleased to tell you all that we are to be blessed with a child.' He used the same voice he used on Sundays for this announcement, but then in a slightly more emotional tone continued `My dearest Teresa is having a baby, and I am the happiest man on earth'. A cheer rose from everyone else there. I managed to clap politely. Glasses of Champaign were filled for a toast (`just a sip for you Teresa dear'). Cheese and pineapple and little sausages on sticks were passed around. Then Teresa breezed over to me. How could they not see the change in her? She was now confident, and dressed elegantly. And she was blooming. `Andrew, Jonathon has something to ask you.' she said and she led me over to her husband. `Andrew. Teresa and I have been discussing who we would like to be godparents of our child. Teresa has suggested that one of the people should be someone a little less `churchgoing' to provide an alternative perspective, you understand. I was going to ask the bishop, but Teresa has persuaded me that you are the man for the job. You don't need to worry about the religious side - I think we have that covered'. He and Teresa laughed in unison at his joke. `It just means I would like you to be around for the baby. Trips to the zoo, birthdays, a football match maybe... that sort of thing.' Teresa was giving me a triumphant smile. She was clever. `I would be honoured.' I declared. Jonathon had taken on some extra responsibilities before he knew about the baby, and as a result was away from home quite frequently. As the whether was becoming colder, and the bell tower was not really practical any more, this proved to be very useful. All was not well with my relationship with Teresa however. As Teresa's belly grew bigger, it became harder and harder for me not to think about it when we made love. It wasn't that it made her unattractive - she was still as sexy as ever. I had screwed a pregnant woman many times before with no issues at all. The problem was that when I was inside her, I was reminded by her belly that my baby was inside her as well, and that whatever compromise Teresa came up with, I was going to miss out on being the baby's dad. Teresa was 6 months gone - getting quite big now, and we had just made love. Teresa was licking my penis clean. I watched her as she delicately ran her tongue around the base of my shaft and my balls. She was beautiful. `I don't think I can do this anymore' I said to her. She stopped licking me and came up to talk to me. I explained how I felt. I just couldn't carry on anymore. She begged me to stay with her, but when I suggested she left Jonathon and move in with me, she knew she couldn't. I told her I still loved her and would always be there for the baby. Then I got dressed, kissed her one last time, and left. My `port in a storm' is Kate. I went straight over to her flat, hoping desperately she wasn't on shift at the maternity unit. She was home. `Hi stranger!' she was still pleased to see me all this time. `What's wrong?' Although I didn't mention who my lover had been, I told her everything that had happened. There were tears in both our eyes when I finished. `You have got it bad. I never thought I would see the day when someone got to you like she has.' she comforted. `Why don't you stay over tonight?' `Yes please' I didn't want to be alone. `but can we not... do anything tonight' `No problem. Come on up now' she replied. In the bedroom she helped me out of my clothes then stripped off her own. I had seen her naked many times, but her trim body and perfectly shaved pussy always impressed me. She told me to lie on the bed so she could give me a massage before we went to sleep. Her hands were expert at loosening the knots in my muscles, and although she wasn't doing anything sexual, my penis began to stiffen. She told me to turn over. `I knew you wouldn't be able to resist for long' she said, licking the end of my cock then sliding it deep into her mouth and throat, gently pumping me until I ejaculated into her. Then we snuggled together under the covers and went to sleep. I spent the next few weeks catching up with all my old regulars. First on the list after Kate was Karen - Amber's mother. If anyone had not been neglected while I was seeing Teresa, it was Amber. I had managed to be around for her 5th birthday and her first day at school. In fact I still saw her at least once a week. I dropped in early one evening to visit Amber. I played a board game with her, then read her a bedtime story. And then another - I could never resist her when she did her big sad eyes and said `Please read me another, Uncle Andrew'. Karen often said Amber could twist me round her little finger, and she was right. With Amber finally asleep, Karen and I talked as friends do. It had been the best part of a year since we last slept together, and Karen had stopped asking me if I was going to stay over. `Karen, would you mind if I stayed the night?' I asked. She replied `of course it is alright. I thought you were with someone now?' `I was, but it didn't work out.' I didn't want to go into details. We made long slow love like we used to. I don't think Karen had been with anyone else whilst I was with Teresa. Karen had 3 orgasms that I counted while we made love, but when I felt the familiar tingle in my balls of an imminent ejaculation, I felt I ought to ask `Is it ok if I come inside you?' `I always want your sperm inside me, Andrew' We fell asleep in a slightly sticky embrace. I woke up the next morning to find Karen sucking my cock to hardness. `Ah, you are awake. I hope you are going to fuck me hard now?' Karen asked me. I rolled her over and rammed into her, making her squeal, then started to fuck her hard and fast as requested. `Uncle Andrew!' Amber had come into the bedroom and proceeded to jump on me. Fortunately we were still under the covers. I withdrew from Karen as best as I could and grabbed Amber for her customary tickle. That done she climbed under the covers between me and Karen. Kids eh. `Mummy, why don't you have any pyjamas on?' she asked. `Because I was a bit hot last night, sweetie'. Karen answered. `Uncle Andrew, you don't have any pyjamas on either'. `That's right. I was hot too'. I answered. I had the feeling this kid knew more than she was letting on. There was a pause, then Amber asked. `Uncle Andrew, why haven't you slept with mummy for ages? Mummy says it is because you are busy with your houses, but I think you have a girlfriend.' This girl was wise beyond her years, and I couldn't lie to her. `You were right, I had a girlfriend, then I remembered how much I like to sleep with your mum.' `Good. Mummy is always happy after you sleep with her.' I made a special point of sleeping with Karen more often after that. She had been a good friend to me. I caught up with a few of my other lovers and did my best to make up for the lack of attention I had paid them. Six weeks later, I was driving home from work. It was snowing hard, and had been most of the day. I heard on the radio that there had been a bad accident on the motorway junction, and soon I found myself trapped in a gridlocked road system. No one was moving from here very soon. I pulled over to the side of the road and parked up. Luckily I had a heavy coat and some good boots, so I started to walk the few miles home. It was 20 minutes later that I got a call from Teresa on my mobile phone. We still met to sort out the Roof Fund finances, but I had not kissed or touched her since we split up. `Andrew, thank god.' she was gabbling wildly `my waters have broken and Jonathon is away, and the ambulance is stuck in traffic, and my contractions have started the baby is coming too soon and... and I'm frightened!' I told her not to worry, I had a friend who was a midwife. I would get her to come and help. I told her to stay by the phone and I would call when I reached my friend. Kate didn't live that far from where I was right now, so I started to run to her flat. I knocked on the door, praying she wasn't on shift. My prayers were answered. I explained that my ex had gone into labour, and had no help. She got me to ring Teresa on my phone and she talked her through what to do. `Hello, Teresa. It's Andrew's friend, Kate. I am a midwife. We are going to come over now - it might take a few minutes to get there, but you should have plenty of time. All you have to do is stay calm, and breath deeply when you get a contraction, but don't push until I get there' Kate had a huge holdall full of equipment. Apparently there was everything we might need except drugs which she wasn't allowed to keep at home. We set off through the snow together. After about 30 minutes of difficult walking we arrived at Teresa's house. Kate looked at the place. `Isn't this the vicarage?' she asked. Then the truth dawned. `Tell me you haven't knocked up the vicar's wife?' I looked sheepish as her. `I could murder you sometimes Andrew, how could you be so stupid? Do you know how much influence the man has in this area?' Kate must have really cared about me to have a go at me like that, but this wasn't the time. We let ourselves in and found Teresa in the marital bed, panting through a contraction. She cried with relief when she saw us. I forgot myself for a while and hugged her, relieved that she was ok. Kate got to work, lifting the nightie that Teresa was wearing to expose her huge belly. `I am going to examine you now, Teresa.' Kate told her, and she started lightly push and feel around Teresa's tummy. She seemed to be taking her time. `Do you know you are having twins Teresa?' Kate asked. I dropped the heart rate monitor Kate has asked me to pass her. It broke into several pieces. Teresa looked just as shocked as I was. Kate asked her about the second scan, but Teresa explained that she didn't bother with it, as she was going to have the baby healthy or not. `It is quite handy for detecting twins though.' muttered Kate. `I am going to check your cervix now - do you want Andrew to go out of the room?' `No' `Andrew. Make yourself useful and hold her hand' Kate gave me a secret wink. I knew that she got a perverse please every time she did this procedure. Kate slipped two fingers into Teresa's vagina in order to gauge the dilation of her cervix. `Sorry about this Teresa. You have to pack your dignity away for the day when you have a baby. About 5 centimetres. You have a way to go yet.' I did whatever I could to help Teresa as she had contraction after contraction - dabbing her forehead with a damp flannel, holding her hand. Trying to be encouraging. Kate called me to a corner of the room. `I am a little concerned that her cervix is not making any progress. She is getting very tired, but I am not equipped to do a caesarean' she whispered. `Can you induce or something?' I asked. `I have no drugs with me. but there is something else.' `What?' `Do you remember post amniotic sex?' she let a little smile show `I am convinced it helps to stimulate the cervix to greater contractions.' Karen had introduced me to `post amniotic sex' prior to Amber being born. I told Kate I didn't mind giving it a try. Kate returned to Teresa and explained the idea `...and the plan is that you have vigorous sex, and Andrew ejaculates as far into your cervix as he can.' `What about my husband? Wont he mind?' asked Teresa. `Your husband isn't here and Andrew is, and neither of us are going to say anything to him. Andrew has told me you were lovers until recently' Teresa looked ashamed for a second, then looked at me. `Do you mind?' she asked. I didn't mind. Kate explained she would have to remain present to monitor Teresa, then in response to Teresa's horrified look, she explained `Us medical types always say we have seen it all before, but in this case I have. Andrew and I had a bit of a thing a while ago.' `And you don't mind?' asked Teresa. `Not really.' Kate told me what was required. I should strip right down as Teresa was bleeding and I would get plenty of blood on me. I should enter her as soon as a contraction completed and I should fuck her hard and fast - discomfort or pain was not an issue. I should try to come inside her cervix which should be wide enough for my penis. Ideally Teresa should orgasm, but I couldn't be inside her cervix when she started her contraction. I pulled my clothes off as instructed and Kate helped Teresa out of her nightie. Kate was monitoring the babies with a stethoscope. While we waited for the next contraction, I decided to kiss Teresa's breasts. They were always large and beautiful but now they were heavy with milk. Teresa stroked my cock to complete hardness, then had another contraction. A soon as it subsided, Karen commanded `Ok tiger, you are on'. I rammed into Teresa as hard and as deep as I could. I felt the head of my dick pop into her open cervix. She screamed. I looked at Kate. `Go on!' she mouthed at me. I rammed into her again and again. This wasn't subtle, and each time Teresa screamed. `I think you have about 2 minutes before the next contraction' Kate told me, watching the action. I could do without the pressure. I continued to roughly fuck her, eliciting a cry of pain each time I entered her fully. `...About a minute. Now would be a good time to come' My cock was inside her cervix when I felt my balls begin to tingle. It was now or never. I blasted my semen into her cervix, draining my balls, then quickly I withdrew before her orgasm/contraction started. `This contraction is a cracker, Teresa. Well done.' Kate congratulated her. Kate turned to me and told me to get cleaned up. She didn't want Teresa to see the blood on me. I came back into the room fully clothed again to find Kate giving Teresa another internal examination. `The old ways are always the best.' Kate declared with some satisfaction. `Teresa, you are now 10 centimetres dilated so you may push when you have a contraction.' I am not going to take you through the rest of the labour, but after another hour of pushing the first baby - a slightly semen smeared girl, was passed to me. Shortly after, the second baby - a boy arrived. I cut the cord for each. I wrapped the babies in some towels, and passed them to an extremely tired Teresa. `Thank you.' she said. I didn't need her thanks - I had managed to be present at the birth of my first two children - Mary and Joshua. The babies were baptised the following spring, the same week that renovation of the church roof began.