DESIRE
                            

        While I was still at school, in the time before my marriage, I
worked as a lab assistant in the public computer lab.  One day I
received this message from a girl named Kathy, who was just checking out
people with unusual handles.  Mine happened to be set at "Starship
Capt."  that day and she wanted to know if I was a Star Trek fan.  Silly
question.

        I finally met her in real life a few days later when she came
into the lab office asking for help on her BASIC project for CS 114.
She was a few inches shorter than me, with long wavy brown hair, deep
sea-green eyes, luscious cherry lips, a nice bust (not too big), and a
behind that made it hard for me to calmly deal with her problem.  I sat
at her terminal and we worked on her program for nearly an hour (my
supervisor came by at least twice and reminded me not to spend too much
time helping one person).  We were sitting in the far corner of Room F,
a small room in the back of the main lab.  It was dark outside and the
lab was fairly empty, even though it was only just after seven.  As we
worked, Kathy was questioning me about what other TV shows I liked, what
kind of music I listened to, if I had a girlfriend, etc.  This last one
really got my attention and it began to seem like maybe she was
interested in me, though I didn't know why.  I decided to test the
waters.

        "Hmm?" I responded, seeming interested only in my job.

        "I asked you if you had a girlfriend," she repeated.

        "Not really," I said.  "I haven't been too lucky with women
lately."  This wasn't a complete fabrication, though it had been some
time since that night with Melissa.  Then again, that night only went 
so far.  Hmmm, maybe I wasn't so far from the truth after all.

        Kathy seemed to react to my statement, moving a little closer
and feigning (I hoped) an interest in the data on the screen.

        "That's too bad."  She paused.  "Are you doing anything tonight
after work?"

        I was surprised that she took the hint so quickly and I blushed.
I can't remember what I said, but I think it was something stupid.
Something on the order of "Only if it's with you."  After a comment like
that it's amazing to me that we ended up at the Olive Garden together an
hour later.

        Kathy and I talked until they closed.  We discussed everything
- school, religion, politics, her career goals, my music - even sex.
That topic lasted until the end of the evening.  I found out that she
hadn't had a decent relationship in months either and would burst if she
couldn't find a guy.  She didn't seem very shy about discussing her sex
life, but she didn't go into details like what positions she liked or
whether or not she swallowed either.  She liked snuggling and long,
quiet evenings with her lovers.  She didn't always have to make love
right away either, as she had the patience to snuggle all night and take
her lover in the morning.  It was becoming obvious to me that this was a
woman guided, not by her lust but, by her desire for love.  She was a
sensualist who knew the benefits of a long, drawn out night of soft
kisses, tender carresses, and slow, methodical intimacy.  So I wasn't
surprised when she said she preferred passive, gentle lovemaking to
heavy, aggressive "bed shaking", as she put it.  I was definitely
intrigued.

        They threw us out of the resturaunt around eleven, so I drove
her back to campus.  When I pulled up in front of her dorm, she smiled
at me.

        "Thanks for taking me out.  I really had a good time."

        She reached out and touched my cheek.  I took her hand and
pulled it to my side, forcing her to lean toward me.  Our eyes were
locked until she felt my hand on the back of her neck, then she closed
them and lightly parted her mouth.  I closed my eyes and moved my mouth
toward hers.  I felt a swell of warmth flow over me as I felt her plump,
soft lips touch mine.  I had to adjust my position because the seatbelt
was still fastened and I couldn't press against her any further without
choking myself.  I broke the kiss and unclicked the belt.  I looked into
her eyes again and she leaned into my chest, snuggling her head against
me.  I bent my head down and kissed her cheek as I ran my fingers
through her soft hair.  There was a pause that went on for seconds and
it seemed like neither of us was going to say anything.

        "I really liked that...Kathy," I finally mustered the energy to
say, still stroking her head.  "Umm hmm." (I was choked, I had to clear
my throat.) "Can I kiss you again?" I asked, my voice shaking.

        She didn't respond verbally, but tilted her head back and
offered me her mouth.  I kissed her warmly and, as I remembered to do,
gently.  I made no quick movements, though I had this urge to press her
back into the seat and tear open her shirt.  Maybe Kathy could teach me
to channel my desire into something more sensual and less aggressive.

        We finally broke the kiss and held each other for several
minutes, talking about things in genreal.  She finally saw that it was
near midnight and said she had a psych class at eight in the morning.
She opened the car door.

        "I'll drop you a note on the computer.  Maybe we can get
together again."  She started to leave, then stopped and added, "You can
cook some Chinese for me."

        I smiled.  "Deal," I said.

        Kathy slammed the door shut and I watched her walk away, staring
at her beautiful behind and thinking about how wonderful the evening had
been.  She turned around quickly and waved me on, but I waited until she
was inside the building before I drove off.  Something inside me,
something more than just common courtesy, wanted to make sure she was
safe, and I wondered what was happening to my life.  I wondered if Kathy
was destined to mean more to me than what Melissa had meant.  Melissa,
despite all I had felt for her, didn't work out.  I had wanted her in my
life, but guilt over losing her virginity drove her away.  I never did
see her again.  Now there was Kathy.  A simple and inauspicious
beginning, perhaps, but my heart was already thinking of the future.
Thinking a lot...



        I received a computer message from Kathy three days later.  When
I didn't hear from her right away I became concerned that she might have
had second thoughts because of my looks (not many women want to date a
guy who is on the heavy side), but I was obviously wrong - she was
definitely impressed with me.  I had her over that Friday and cooked up
a batch of General Tso's Chicken and my special Thai Spring Rolls, which
she loved.  Things got even better from there.

      We went out quite often and spent our time talking about
everything, including how much we liked being with each other.  We found
ourselves talking to each other a lot - on the phone, over the
computer, in the halls - though she told me she didn't want to bother
me at the lab after what my supervisor said.  I understood, but assured
her she shouldn't not come to me if she needed help or just to say
hello.  I really just wanted to see her at every opportunity.

      What surprised me was the fact that our physical relationship was
pretty much limited to what we had done that first night.  We would
often hold each other for hours at a time, gently kissing and caressing.
One night was spent sleeping in each other's arms in my recliner (my
back nearly killed me, but what price love?).  I shocked myself with
stoic restraint, curbing my urge to take things further.  Maybe I had
learned my lesson with Melissa.

      One night, about a month after we had started going out, I found
her waiting outside the lab when I was leaving.  She waited patiently
for me to close the door.  She grinned because she knew what was about
to happen, though I was oblivious.  She was so sexy that night.  She
even seemed to walk seductively, her ass moving gently side to side as
she walked away from me.  I followed, of course.  We walked across the
parking lots to Lafollette, through the complex, and then on to her
building.  The whole time I was curious about what she was doing.  She
punched the button for the elevator and the doors opened almost
instantly.  She walked in and I had to follow.  When the doors closed,
she slid her arms around me and looked up into my eyes.  Gently I bent
my head down and touched my lips to hers.  Her mouth was soft and sweet.
God I felt so warm.  It was only a few seconds before she opened her
mouth and slid the tip of her tongue in.  I was shaking from being so
nervous, but Kathy's gentle French kiss seemed to calm me some.  I
started to raise my hand toward her breast, something I hadn't done with
her before, but stopped when the elevator door began to open.

        Kathy led me to the stairs, down two flights, and then down the
hall to her room, then unlocked the door and ushered me in.  The room
was dark, except for one small lamp on her desk.  I felt her hands on my
shoulders as she slowly turned me around, then we continued our kiss
from the elevator.  Her tongue, a little less gentle this time, seemed
to desire more from me than before.  I slid my tongue into her mouth and
she moaned from the pleasure.  She exerted a little pressure on me and I
went back onto her bed.  She kicked off her shoes and knelt beside me,
then positioned herself so she was straddling me, her crotch rubbing
firmly against mine.  This seemed unusually agressive for Kathy, but I
wasn't going to argue with her.

        She took my hands and began to kiss them.  She ran my fingers
over her face and neck, then on down to her bust.  I wasn't sure how far
she wanted me to go, so I began to rub the sides of her breasts through
the fabric of her shirt and bra.  She arched her back a little, seeming
to enjoy my caresses.  I took a chance and began to unbutton her blouse,
my fingers trembling intensly.  She grabbed my hands and pushed the down
to my chest.  I figured that I had gone too far, but then she continued
to unbutton her blouse for me.  When she finished, she pulled the rest
of the blouse out of her pants and then pulled the top off altogether.
She was wearing a frosted white-lace bra, which pleasantly exposed the
upper parts of her breasts.  I gently reached up with my hand and began
to trace a line from her cheek, down her chin and her neck, then down
her bra strap, over the egde of her bra cup, and finally to the point
where her cups met.  I then slowly spread my hand out over her left
breast and began to massage it softly through the lacy white cloth of
her underwear.  Kathy moaned softly as I began to stroke her nipple to
erection.  Then I began to cup her other breast with my other hand.

        Kathy sat up, rubbing her crotch harder against my erection,
which was now firm in my pants.  My hands were stretched out over both
of her breasts.  I tried lifting up on the bottom of her bra, in an
attempt to pull it up.  She reached around behind her back and unhooked
it for me, then let it fall away in my hands.  I dropped the bra
somewhere on the floor as I looked at her full, soft breasts.  Creamy
white, unblemished, and firm, with perfect erect nipples.  All thoughts
about her not taking me seriously were dispelled when I realized that
*I* was doing this to her.  *I* was causing her to be excited.  Despite
the number of relationships I had had, part of me still thought no one
could really ever be turned on by me, but I was finally beginning to
believe in myself.

        Kathy bent over a little, her beautiful breasts wavering only
inches from my mouth.  I instinctively licked my lips, then placed my
mouth softly over her right nipple and areola.  My lover gasped lightly
as I took it into my mouth.  She placed her hand on the back of my head,
holding my mouth against her bosom.  Meanwhile, she continued to rub her
crotch against the bulge in my pants.  I knew she had to be so excited
that she was getting very wet between her legs; her clitoris swollen
from rubbing against my erection.

        As I suckled liked an infant, my right hand moved slowly from
her other breast toward her pants.  I moved it gently over the soft
bulge between her legs.  I pressed a little harder, which solicited a
gasp from Kathy's mouth, then I pulled my hand back and slid it into her
pants, but over the silky softness of her panties.  I could feel the
soft hairs of her mound underneath, begging to be touched, and the heavy
wetness of her excitement.  I stroked her for many minutes, at the same
time switching my mouth back and forth between her breasts.  Finally, I
pulled my hand back and slid it into her underwear.  Her mound of silky
hairs was slippery wet against my fingers.  I wanted to go further, but
I had probably taken it too far already.

        "Oh God," she moaned in a whisper.  "Please...Pat.  More."

        Kathy's begging pushed me along.  I began to caress the outline
of her lips, stroking the outside of her labia until they blossomed.  I
worked my fingers slowly back and forth into her vagina, each time
penetrating deeper.  I did this for several minutes, feeling the
smoothness of her vaginal wall and listening to her moan about my
attentions to her genitals.  She began to lightly grind herself against
my hand and body.

        "Uhhn...ohhhh.  Pat...I want you to see me.  Take off my pants,
please."

        I pulled my hand away from her mound as Kathy arched her back,
allowing me to undo her pants.  She then twisted around on the bed, lay
on her back, lifted her behind and, with my help, slipped out of the
remainder of her clothes (except her socks, which we both found
incredibly sexy).  She lay facing me, naked and smiling.  Her hand
gently touched the soft curls of brown hair at the top of her mound. She
was very beautiful down there, with her thick hair and tender,
well-formed labia.  I could also see her inner labia, having opened from
the gently caressing my fingers had given her.  I watched as she slid
her third and fourth fingers down over her mound and pulled them back up
between her lips.  She was looking down at herself, moaning softly.  As
her wet fingers moved around her clitoris, she looked back up at me,
closing her eyes in pleasure.  Pleasure that she wanted me to give her.

        I smiled back and leaned over to kiss her softly.  I moved
slowly and nuzzled her breasts for a while before continuing my downward
journey.  As I got closer to her mound, she began to feel hot and
prickly.  My mouth slipped past her navel and began to kiss the top part
of her soft, brown pubic triangle.  She spread her legs slowly as my
mouth moved down over her wet mound of Venus.  The tip of my tongue slid
down partway into the cleft of her labia at the top.  She shuddered as
it darted around her clitoris.  I wrapped my arms under and then over
her thighs, which helped her hold her legs apart.  I slid my tongue down
all the way to her inner labia, then gently into her vagina.  My lips
came to press fully against her genitals, my tongue at least two inches
inside of her.  Kathy was slowly rolling her hips and ass, as well as
arching her back and head, as she moaned my name softly.  I didn't make
any sudden or deliberate movements; nothing to disturb the gentleness
with which I was giving her pleasure.

        As Kathy ran her fingers over my head, holding it between her
legs, I pulled a hand back and slid one finger deep into her vagina.  I
pulled it out a few seconds later and slowly, but in time to my licking,
began to move that finger back and forth into her anus.  Kathy felt
electricity shoot up her spine as I touched this forbidden part of her
anatomy.  After a short time, my finger was all the way up inside her
rectum, moving in time to the massaging movements of my tonuge and mouth
on her genitals.  I did this all slowly and gently over several minutes
but, nevertheless, she felt the pressure of orgasm building within her
loins.  Slowly she rocked her hips, keeping her actions as tender as
possible.  It was building...building...BUILDING!!

        "Oh, oh, please..." she cried, softly.  "Oh, oh, yes..."  She
fell into a short sleep.  While she rested I removed my shirt, then lay
back and pulled her bare breasts gently against me.  She kissed me again
and again, but then rested again.

        We lay together, letting our passions cool.  She had her head on
my chest and was gently stroking my erection through my pants.  Over the
course of the next hour, interspersed with kisses and the gentle
suckling of my nipples, she unbuttoned my slacks and slid down the
zipper.  She seemed to be getting her energy back, so I lifted my hips
and she pulled my pants off.  The very noticable bulge in my underwear
excited her.  She rubbed the cotton cloth of my briefs for a few minutes
before she reached her fingers under the elastic and pulled them down
past my socked feet, then tossed them onto our mutual clothes pile.  She
looked back to my groin, staring at my fully erect phallus.  To this day
I don't know what she was thinking about at that moment.

        Kathy lay beside me.  I began to suckle her breast as she
wrapped her hand around the length of my penis and started to stroke it
back and forth.  She pulled her breast away from my mouth as she moved
hers down, kissing my chest, then on toward my erection.  When she
arrived I felt her begin to stroke my pubic hair with her fingers.  Then
I felt them on my testicles.  Her tongue gently flicked my scrotum just
before she planted several kisses on my penis.  I watched as she kissed
slowly up the underside of the shaft of my organ.  Suddenly, but gently
she took it into her mouth.  I felt such a warmth suround the head of my
phallus that I almost ejaculated immediately, but I was able to manage a
little bit of control.  Then she stopped sucking me and wrapped her hand
around the base of my penis, squeezing lightly.  My head became swollen
and this time she took it all the way into her throat.

        "Uh...ohhh, Kathy...ohhhh.  Honey...ohhh...that feels so
wonderful," I moaned softly to her.  She craved this tender attention.
To her it was love, not lust.  That's how she thought of things.

        She moved her mouth up and down on my erection.  She began to
quicken the pace, but not enough to disrupt our promise of gentle
lovemaking.  I was tightening my hip, buttock, and thigh muscles as she
sucked on me.  My breathing was becoming more rapid.  I felt the whole
world begin to dissolve.

        "Kathy...I'm...I'm going to...oh!" I called tenderly.  It was
too late, I began to come.  My hips and thighs shook as the semen rose
in my genitals and my prostate gland tightened.  I felt a flood of
warmth rise in my testicles and penis.  Then I was throbbing.  Kathy let
my organ slip out of her mouth as the first wave came...a hot white gush
of sperm ejaculated onto her cheek before she could get it back in her
mouth, then she began sucking deeply.  Five more bursts squirted from my
erection before my supply was depleted, though it continued to throb
several more times.  She swallowed all that came into her mouth,
ignorant of everything but the passion my climax made her feel.

        "Oh Kathy..." I sighed.

        She climbed up, wrapping herself around me, and caressed me,
stroking my face.  She placed several tender kisses on my face,
occasionally on my nose, then pressed her plump lips against my mouth.
Her breasts were firm against my chest and I could feel their intense
heat flowing through my body.  My right arm was around her shoulders and
my hand was holding her head as we kissed.  My other arm was down around
her waist, with my hand gently caressing the valley between her
buttocks.  She moaned as I stroked down around her anus and pushed my
tongue back into her mouth.  I could feel her mound rubbing against the
tip of my penis as we continued to press against each other.  I could
have just nudged her on her back and...oh God, I just wanted to slide
right inside her.

        She finally broke the kiss and I rolled onto my back.  She lay
her head on my chest and I pulled the comforter out from behind me,
throwing it over our bodies.  As we drifted off I swore I heard her say,
"I knew you were someone special."



        It must have been two or three in the morning when I woke up.
The first thing that occured to me was that it was well past the dorm
curfew for visitors, even on a weekend.  The next thing I noticed was
that Kathy's body wasn't there keeping me warm.  I fumbled for my
glasses and looked across the darkened room (she must have turned out
the desk lamp while I was asleep).  As my eyes adjusted to the light
coming in from the cloudless sky outside, I could see Kathy's naked
silohuette as she stood in the window.  I threw back the blanket and
tumbled out of the bed.  She must have known I was there because she
didn't flinch as I slipped my arms around her from behind.  I held Kathy
just below her breasts and her arms wrapped over mine.  I kissed her on
the nape of her neck and she sighed.

        "Isn't it beautiful out there?" she asked.

        I looked out the window and saw the stars and the moon as they
shone over the campus.  The glow from the lights of Muncie provided just
enough light for me to see the reflection of Kathy's nude form in the
window.  I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

        "I think it's even more beautiful in here."

        She turned away from the window and faced me, pressing her body
against mine as we embraced.  I could feel her breasts warming up
against my chest and her abdomen rubbing against my flaccid penis.  I
looked into her green eyes.

        "Kathy?" I asked, my voice rough.

        "Yes?"

        I paused, considering what I was about to ask her.  "Do you want
to make love with me?"

        Her eyes flickered for a second.  "Yes..." she whispered and
pressed her lips softly against mine.  My penis began to grow against
her body and her nipples grew firm against mine.  She pulled away and
took my hand, leading me back to the bed.  I sat down and rolled under
the covers.  She lay next to me and pulled the heavy winter comforter
over us.  We embraced again and kissed passionately for many minutes. My
hand gently caressed her arm and moved over her back, down to her
behind, around the front to her mound, and on up to her breasts.  She
turned slightly, still facing me, and pressed her body against me again.
I could feel the head of my penis as it slipped down against her mound.
Her legs moved apart slowly and my erection moved a little ways into
her.  Then we looked into each other's eyes and smiled.

        "Just a minute," she said.  Her hand reached up onto the night
stand and grabbed something, slipping it underneath the blanket before I
could see what it was.

        We began to kiss again, but this time Kathy reached down and
started to stroke my penis.  I could feel her slipping something cold
against the head of my erection.  Then I realized she was unrolling a
condom over it.  She rolled it completely down to the base of my penis,
then slid her fingers up to the tip to make sure there was enough space
left for my semen to come into.  She guided it back toward her mound and
I lightly pressed it into her as we lay on our sides.  I could feel how
warm and open she was.  I nudged her and she rolled slowly onto her back
with me riding her.  She held onto the blanket as we turned, keeping us
completely covered.  I began to probe her pubic hair, guiding myself
downward again.  I found her labia and my erection seemed to naturally
slip into her vagina.  Kathy spawled herself out as I slid my hands
under and over her shoulders to hold more firmly onto her.  I slowly
pushed myself into her mound, stopping every so often to pull back and
then thrust deeper into her again.  Soon I was moving slowly but
rythmically, back and forth inside of her.  She could feel me pressing
closer and closer to the mouth of her uterus.  Her hips and buttocks
began to move up against me.

        "Ohhhh....Pat," she moaned in my ear, caressing my back with her
hands.

        "Kathy...you're so wonderful," I answered back.

        Our mouths were locked in a passionate kiss, her tongue darting
in and around my mouth.  My chest was pressing against her breasts,
flattening them against her chest.  The only space between our bodies
was where I was slowly pulling back to thrust again into her mound with
my erect phallus.  The longer we made love, the closer I got to touching
her cervix, I was so incredibly deep inside her.  The condom was ultra
thin, bless her heart, so I could experience all the pleasures of our
intimacy.  She continued to roll her hips slowly against me whenever I
would thrust into her.  Finally, one time, I struck her cervix lightly
and she gasped in pleasure.  She felt another powerful orgasm coming
on...

        I tried to imagine what the scene must look from behind.  My
testicles hitting the lower part of her mound as I would thrust in. When
I would pull out, my penis would be wet as it extended away from my
scrotum into her genitals.  The chocolate hairs of her mons had to be
completely matted with lubricant by now.  Below our passionate sexual
embrace, her anus would be glistening with the dripping moisture of her
mound.  Above it, my perinium would blend away into my anus, partly
shielded by my quivering buttocks.  The thrusting of our intercourse
making them shake with the passion of my thrusts.  Our moment was
building...

        Kathy was about to achieve her plateau.  Her pelvis screamed for
release as I was hitting her cervix frequently.  Her legs wrapped
tightly around me and she began to squeeze my body with them, rolling
her hips and buttocks up against me.

        "Oh, God!"  She cried as quietly as possible.  "Pat!  Pat!  Oh
please...yes...ohhhh."

        I could feel her vagina begin contracting around my penis.  Her
tightening body and passionate words made me need to thrust only a few
more times.

        "Oh, Kathy...Kathy!"  Again, hoarse whispers of passion as I
reached my second orgasm of the night.  Hot semem gushed from the tip of
my ureathra into the resevoir tip of the condom.  I felt pulse after
pulse racing through my loins as the liquid left my body.

        "Patrick...  oh, I love you," she moaned to me.

        I continued thrusting as the last few drops of my passion
spurted into the condom.  I then slowly lay myself against her, where I
held her in a long, deep kiss.  I don't remember how long I lay inside
her - a couple of minutes, maybe - then I withdrew my penis from her
mound and lay gently at her side.

        I was exhausted and drifting off to sleep again, but I remember
Kathy laying her head against my chest.  I ran my fingers through her
hair, over her forehead, and down to her cheek.  She took my hand and
kissed it, then I tilted my head up and kissed the top of her head.

        "I love you too, Kathy," I said and lay my head back, looking
out the window at the moon as it hung high over campus.



        Kathy and I saw each other for a long time.  Our relationship
was very much like the one I had with Monica, though Kathy was more
certain about her feelings for me.  Yet, it was strange.  I had a
feeling all along that it would never go beyond the sensual desire we
had for one another.  I truly did love Kathy and I still believe she
loved me, but I think we both knew there wasn't a lifetime plan in the
future for us.  The following summer we went our separate ways, though
we parted as good friends.  I saw her off and on after she came back,
but we never made love again.  By that time I had become involved in a
new relationship and Kathy didn't want to cause any trouble with my new
S.O.  Besides, they were becoming good friends and that, at least, would
allow Kathy to be a part of my life for a little while longer.


                                    END
-