soft panic

i'e always wondered how you knew that I had left the office after lunch. But, 
of course i knew. It's just that I wasn't expecting you. I knew your day was 
full and that hours later we would meet.

you found me in the garden at the side of my house. i was lying in the grass,
wearing my favorite of your vests and your boxers.  i like to wear them after
you've taken them off; your cologne permeates your clothing , mixing with your
sweat and i love the way you smell.  i enjoy smelling your body and mine on
clothes.  i had claimed that pair, and you were never getting them back, i didn't
care who gave them to you for christmas.

i love the way grass feels. the grass in my garden is the kind that mats together
and forms a soft bed to lie in. i carefully researched the decision, for lazy
afternoons, warm sunshine and good books. there is quiet bliss in solitude, words
and sunshine.

the sun beat down on my back; warm, not hot. i was deeply involved in my copy of
emily smith harrington's "eyes smiling thru god's tear" and it was fast becoming my
favorite book. i loved kathie steele.  she was familiar. she seemed to be me, my
mother, and so many other women i know;  waiting for love to show up and
completely willing to walk away from a disappointing life to follow it when it
calls from the road.

i didn't hear your footsteps in the grass behind me. i wasn't expecting you; we
had made arrangements for dinner that night.  when your shadow fell over me, i
whirled around.  who was in my yard?! i was readying my foot for the kick to the
balls, and bracing myself for the mad run i was going to the make to the back
door; my fingers already turning the lock and dialing the police. my survival
instincts have been honed to a fine point. bad shit has happened to me.  when i
looked up and saw you standing there i breathed a sigh of relief. then as the
terror flowed out of me, acute irritation replaced it. "you jerk! you scared the
shit out of me!" i almost shouted.

"i'm sorry. i forgot you didn't like me coming up behind you." you said evenly in
your even baritone, a frown creasing your forehead.

"yet you persist in doing it. i'm going to stab you 'accidentally' if you keep it
up." i snapped. i flipped onto my stomach. i picked up my book pretending to
read, showing you my displeasure.

"baby, jumping you by accident once or twice in our relationship hardly qualifies
as persistence." your voice soothing me.

"well i shouldn't have to say it more than once." i persisted, my heart still
beating fast.

"agreed. i apologize. again. really sweetin, i'm sorry." i could hear the
contrition in your voice and my irritation started to slip away.

"you know, because someone sneaked up behind you and hurt you; doesn't mean
you're going to be attacked by everyone who come up on you unexpectedly. you know
i'm never going to hurt you. i don't understand why you get so upset every time."
you questioned.

my shoulders relaxed, the tension being replaced by a sense of calm. it was the
love of my life behind me. i was in the sunshine, and i was safe. i wanted to
explain.  you didn't deserve my anger. "every time someone surprises me like
that, i'm in the dark again with his hand across my neck. he's above me, raping
me. i don't like being jolted back to that moment like that."  i said softly, i
can never keep the sadness out of my voice, no matter how long it's been. no
matter how far i've put it behind me.

you have been a perfect lover.  you knew i was a rape survivor when we met; i
have always been open about my experiences.  when i told you,  you treated me
with great tenderness. something i had never expected;  most men, don't know how
to cope with a rape survivor.  you gave me what i needed when i needed it, and
backed off when i wanted to be alone. we had talked about all of my feelings;
emotional, physical and sexual. you spent a long time building my trust in you.
helping me to relearn my body, reconnecting my mind to my body. i had resolved
many of the issues my rape created before we met, but i was still a little edgy
about sex and relationships.  i had been deeply hurt by lovers after the rape,
who were insensitive and didn't know how to handle my fears.

you taught me how to cum. the first orgasm i ever had was against your hand, your
fingers rubbing my g-spot. something you patiently discovered and used to break
down every wall  put up against you; persistently.   i love you now in ways i
never thought i could  and i have always felt from the first minute i saw you
that we were connected in some way we couldn't completely comprehend; that we
were lovers many times before these lives we are living now.

"when i return to that part of my life it's for strength or for some new lesson i
have to glean from the experience." i continued. "i plan it. i approach the
experience with dignity, and with a handle on the pain that it caused. when
people come up behind me i have no choice, no way of preventing the memories from
hurting me unnecessarily. i'm there, with him. it lasts a moment. i realise who
is behind me; i relax more, but the door is open and the memories don't subside
easily." i said, rolling over on my back again. you stood above me, not moving. 
i wasn't angry now, but i wanted you to understand.

"i wish i could take it away. i wish you'd never had to associate innocent
gestures with that kind of pain."  your brow wrinkled, your concern showing.

"i don't regret the experience, but i'd be a liar if i said it wasn't a part of
who i am now. i'm richer for it. i don't relish pain, but i understand it's
necessity for growth."  i sat up, shrugging.  i laid zora and janie on the grass
next to me; crossed my legs, indian style, my hands resting on my thighs. your
stance over me was a little disconcerting.

"i wish there was something i could do." your response was tinged with regret.

"there's nothing. this isn't a fear i can run into and conquer, in a moment. it
will take me a while to repair the damage." i half smiled.

"why not?"

"why what?"

"why can't you conquer it in a moment?" you clarified.

"well, someone jumping me consistently would get very nerve racking. after the
first few times i'd be expecting it, and living on the edge waiting for it to
happening...." i stopped, frowning. you had started smiling.

"what are you smiling at?" i asked you; silly man.  you had such a devilish grin
on your face.

"i have an idea.  what if when someone came up and surprised you; with a twist?"

"what twist?" i looked up at you. your idea sounded quite suspect, rife with
stress.

"pleasure." you responded simply.

"what?!" i shaded my eyes from the sun. at first unsure of what you was
suggesting; but i began contemplating the possibilities almost immediately. the
delicious possibilities.  always delicious possibilities with us.

"pleasure. imagine it. would you like me to tell you." your voice dropped a few
octaves.

"tell me? you're going to create a fantasy in the middle of this discussion?" i
asked, half laughing but a little interested.  i wanted to hear this story; how
were you going to conquer years of fear with a little story?  i love your
stories.  you have a vivid imagination.

"do you trust me?" your head cocked to one side slowly, studying me. "i can see
you're interested. your nipples just hardened."

i looked down, and damned if they weren't.  my nipples WERE peaking; pressing
against the soft cotton of your vest.  i looked up at you, smiled and replied in
a teasing tone, "i hate you.  how can you be so fucking suave with your ass?"

you laughed, "so do you want to hear my story?"

"sure, shoot. it's not like you haven't help me battle demons before. i like the
way you share your sword." i giggled a little, under my breath,  i love to tease
you.  and leaned back onto my elbows, bracing myself. i unfolded my legs,
stretching them out in front of me.  you smiled at me but you didn't move; your
movements always seem economical, precise.

"it's dark.  all the lights are off in the house. there's moonlight; so you don't
even bother with the lights.  you set the alarm, take off your shoes and drop
them near the shoe rack at the door. you massage your neck.  you're tired.  baby
you work too hard. you're going to wear yourself out down there."  you veered off
topic, and launched into a gentle lecture about the detrimental result of my long
working hours; the sudden shift in conversation almost annoying.

"yeah, yeah. you're going to drive me batty if you keep knocking me about it. i
don't work anymore than you do. stop being sexist." i rebuffed your coddling,
wanting you to get back to the good stuff; your story.

i felt very vulnerable on the ground, in your underwear, with you standing so
still above me.  i was getting quite aroused, and felt compelled to shifting my
thighs.  you looked so wonderfully tall and strong; i wanted you, my body warm
from the sun, anxious for the unalloyed erotic thrill in your voice and the
stories you weaved.  you were playing a game with me now; piquing my interest. 
controlling the pace.  however, i could still play a part in this seduction.  i
leaned back; ostensibly to settle in to enjoy your yarn spinning. i raised my
knees and rested my arms against my stomach, attempting nonchalance. i wondered
if you could see the curve of my ass; i felt a slight breeze on my mons hair, the
leg of the loose boxers allowing the delicious sensations.  i wondered if you
could see that too. could you see my nipples getting harder? were you taking in
the minute details of my arousal?  you hadn't made any comments on my body's
reaction to you, the way you mentioned my hardened nipples earlier.  but i
thought you must be.

"i don't think i have any right to work as much as i do, but i'm taking steps to
cut down on my hours. that's why i'm here. i am pleased to see you're not there."
 you continued smiling.

"what time is it? you're very early." i looked at my wrist,  but i'd left my
watch in my bathroom. i was determined to play too.

"it's three-thirty." you replied.

i was enjoying the light bantering. "really, you must stop fawning over me,
you're going to cause a scandal. everyone will say you've gone soft. your
best-friend keeps mentioning how quiet you've become. i smiled the last time he
mentioned it, because i know different." i said teasing you again.

"i fawn over you because you have my heart.  i enjoy what we have." your gaze
traveling the length of my body, leaving tingles of anticipation in it's wake.
you was looking at me with such love and desire that never fails to amaze me;
it's mine. "so do you want me to finish this story or what?" your hands slid into
your pocket; moving for what i think is the first time since you shadow fell
across janie's story. i thought i could see your cock beginning to create
definition in your pants.

"sure, let's have it." i slid my leg down and spread my arms out to the side. i
felt my breasts gently settle, my nipples hardening a little more. this was going
to be intense. i could feel it building.

"you're tired. you massage your neck. you're thinking, 'maybe a hot bath will
relax my muscles'. so you move to climb the stairs to take off your clothes and
run the bath. as you turn from the door and start walking to the stairs. arms
take your shoulders, firmly pushing you to face away from the unseen intruder. 
the arms push you forward against the wall the stairs are built into. the
intruder is a man. large against your back, and pressing you into the wall.

"'shhhhh...don't move. it's okay. i won't hurt you.' you panic anyway, and start
to push backwards, trying to get away. 'it's okay, i won't hurt you' the voice
repeats.  the arms on your shoulder tighten, only to restrain you. suddenly lips
are at your neck. 'don't you know it's me, baby?'

"the voice is familiar and while you don't relax, you aren't terrified anymore.
your heart pounds, but you know it's me now.  my  hands move from your shoulders,
but my body keeps you pressed against the wall. my hands lightly run down your
bare arms, you shiver, out of pleasure i gather, you're pressing back a little. i
press my semi-hard cock into your ass.  i love the way your ass cushions my hips.
 i rub my lower body against you, letting you feel me, feel how hard you're
making me.  my cock swelling slowly."

i could feel my arousal build.  i looked up at you, lying on my back, the power
of the earth supporting my back, the power of the universe enveloping my body,
you in stark contrast to the blue of the sky. your head blocked out the sun. the
sun rays looked like they're radiating around your head. there must have been a
deeper meaning to that, but by then my eyes slipped down and your cock was now
pushing tightly against the fabric of your pants, and as always your arousal
heightened mine. i moaned.

"do you like it?" you whispered.

"yes," there was nothing more to say in a moment like that. my mind couldn't wrap
itself around long sentences.  i could feel the darkness, feel you behind me.

"continue?" you smiled your question.

"yes, but come down here. i want to feel you against me." i reached my arms out
to you. your eyes darkened considerably.

"i'll come down, but three inches will separate us." you replied, your voice
husky.

"why? come and cuddle with me, boo." i squirmed a little on the ground.  my arms
had fell back to the ground after your 'three inches' comment;  i really wanted
to feel you next to me, inside me.  my hands caressed the soft grass.

you elegantly folded your 6 ft. frame down next to me, with the three inches
between us. i could feel you, but only just barely, tendrils of something passing
between the small space separating us. "i want you to be there. you'll be here
with me if you touch me. i want you to be there with me. feel me there. close
your eyes."

my eyes closed. i could feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, warm inside too, i
suddenly felt degrees hotter.  you began again.

"the dark is only broken by the pools of moonlight streaming through the glass at
the top of the front door, and through the picture window in the living room.
there's enough light for you to look up and see the wall stretching above you;
the carpet of the stairs when you look down, but you can't see me behind you.
your body is pressed tightly against the wall, held up only by my cock pressed
into your ass.

"'are you afraid of the dark?' bending at my knees, i whisper into your ear. you
can feel the heat of my breath against your ear, the side of your face. you
shiver violently.

"'yes.' you whisper.

"'even though you know it's me?' i don't want you to be afraid.

"'a little.' just a little whisper. i know you're scared, but you're not cussing
me out, so i assume it isn't too bad.  i wonder if you're feeling me, or feeling
that man that hurt you.  i only want you to feel me so i lean down to your ear.
'i'm here baby. you're not alone in the dark. it's me.'

"you breathe out into the wall, for a moment i felt you retreat into it. afraid. 
pressing yourself closer, afraid to let go of what has been familiar for so long.
 'i'm here with you. you're here with me. i'm not going to leave you alone. it's
me and i love you. i want you and i will never hurt you.'

"you start to cry, not sobbing.  i don't think you've ever sobbed in front of me,
in pain. i've only ever heard you sob in passion. you just cry, and breathe, very
softly. we move at the same time, turning to each other. my arms slide around you
and i lift you a little higher and you press your wet face into my neck.  i can
feel your heart hammering. i am full of love for you.  i want to purge you of all
the pain that the others have caused, but i know you can only do that for
yourself. so i just hold you, until you're ready to move from where you are now.
ready to let you go where you want from now.

"you raise your head and i echo you.  the moonlight, not shining directly on us,
gives me just enough  enough light so your eyes show me where you are." your
fingers lightly trail over my arm, and i sigh a little.

"strong woman, you're okay. when you're ready to move mentally and physically
i'll decide what i'm doing.  i smile seeing the calm in your face,  pleased my
little surprise has worked.  your lips mirror mine and you slide down to sit on
the floor, pressing your back to the wall. i sit next to you and after a few
minutes of silence i hear you sigh softly. turning to look at you, i follow your
gaze through the window to the large moon lighting up the sky, suddenly brighter
than before.  your fingers grasp my hand, and trace the fingers, the vein i'm not
fond of on the back of my hand, my knuckles, my fingertips.  soft exploration,
with electric results. the feeling of your fingers on my hand move up my arm,
spreading across my chest. i'm a little unsure about where this is going but my
cock stirs anyway.

"you turn my hand over and explore the palm of my hand, and it's all i can do not
to curl my hand around your fingers.  the restraint is painfully erotic but i'm
not sure where you're going so i just stay still, letting you move as you want. 
you raise my hand to your mouth, and press your mouth into the palm.  my breath
catches, and i don't care what happens next, i just want you to do whatever is in
your head.  you open your mouth and your tongue reaches out to taste my palm.  i
groan, and you smile into my palm.

"you press one of my fingers into your mouth, exerting enough pressure to excite
the skin and veins of it in your moistness.  i feel your sucking in my cock, as
if your mouth was indeed around my cock, which surges into hardness.  your tongue
shifts against my finger, and i shift my hips to accommodate the suddenly painful
tightness around my cock.

"your mouth releases my finger and your whisper floats into the room, 'touch me. 
heal me.  no more games.'

"i search your face, and how could i respond with anything other than yes.
please. 'it would be our pleasure.'  you smile, and my body is beginning to throb
in anticipation.  sometimes you have to deviate from  your plan, to find where
you're going.  i willingly throw out our little scenario.

"you pull your legs under you and rise to your knees, next to my legs stretched
in front of me.  you place one hand onto my knee, the other settles into your
lap.  i lean forward slowly, and cover your hand with mine, stroking the fingers
that moments before stroked my hand, the dampness remaining from your hot mouth
now feels cool on the back of your hand. i turn over your hand and trail my
forefinger across your palm.  my other hand reaches forward and takes your hand
in mine. i reach up and grasp your shoulder, running my fingers down your arm.
feeling the fine bumps, feeling you shiver under my touch.

"i gently tug your hand and you move forward to settle into my lap, your shoulder
pressing into my chest, your body across mine.  our fingers separate and my arm
comes up to support your back.  you lean into it, relaxing.  'i know it's you.'
you whisper. 'i love you.'

"my mouth descends to yours and i brush it softly with my lips. my tongue comes
out to lick at the seam of that fantastic mouth. that mouth with it's two
bewitching freckles. i kiss where i know they are, your mouth coming alive under
mine. my cock feels surrounded by your ass, it twitches almost violently when
your tongue darts out to pierce my lips.  blending the sharp thrust into a
sucking of my bottom lip, my mouth opens and our tongues meet. your kitten purr,
soft in the back of your throat, preludes the wild, imaginative kiss that
follows.

"i move the arm supporting your back so i can hold your shoulder, my other arm
rising to your hip tightening.  my grip pressing you down onto my cock, pushing
up with my hips at the same time.  you moan into my mouth, and it amazes me how
it effects my cock.  your little cries and moans, the purring makes me hotter.  i
unbutton your blouse, pulling it from your waistband as your hands reach up to
pull my mouth closer to yours.  our tongues flirt, stroke, thrust, simulating the
movements our hips are starting to make. every nerve in my body is alive,
reaching to you, passing my energy into you, receiving yours.

"my fingers unclasp the front of your bra.  pleased to see it's one i bought you.
i can see the laciness in the moonlight.  i buy bras with fasts in front for you,
this is my only reason: i like to peel them away from your breasts.  i like to
see that creamy expanse exposed, cup by cup.  your breasts are a constant
fascination, my fingers brush the outer curve. you're shifting ceaselessly above
me, against me."

my hips started to shift against the grass, i wanted to feel you inside me. i
looked up at you, our eyes meeting. i could see the pleasure your face, the
excitement in telling your story.

"i want to touch myself." i whispered.  i had never suggested this before in our
relationship. the words were out of my mouth before i knew where the the thought
came from.  your eyes darkened looking deeply at me,  your gaze traversing my
lips, my breasts, my legs. you told me later, it was like a door opening in our
relationship.

"i want you to." you replied.

i was shy at first,  just tracing my stomach as you watched.  i wasn't sure
suddenly if i wanted to. you blew a kiss at me and started talking again; my
hands, bold now and encouraged by your words and my need, slid into the boxers.  
your eyes caught mine and i passed my hand across the curls, cupping my sex in my
hand.  my middle finger pushed past the folds, swollen and throbbing, just inside
the slippery wetness of my labia.  my eyes tore away from yours to gaze at the
fullness of your bottom lip; the bottom lip that i love to suck, lick, bite
between my teeth.  the bottom lip that began moving,  your voice, barely above a
whisper, steady and constant, moving across the three inches that separated us. 
your deep, sexy voice was breaking against me, mixing with sunshine and a cool
breeze.  thoughts flittered in my mind. how was it that i loved you before now? i
knew i had, but until then it felt as though it had been a dream.  that moment
was the only lucid thing.

"'i love you!  i can feel you inside me, around me.  i can feel you coming into
me, and feel me going into you.  i want you  inside me. deep inside me. now
baby.' your urgent whispers burst inside me, and i want to push you back to the
floor and press myself into you, but i like to wait. i know you come more and
harder the longer i wait. and i want that as much as i want it for you." you
continued.

i moaned softly.  my fingers touched my clit, my knees raised and my feet fell
flat against the grass. i circled my clit, flicking the very tip and pressed hard
suddenly.  the rhythm slow and undulating. keeping pace with your voice.  the
sensations curled through me.

"'wait baby. i just want it to be better for you.  i want to draw it out so you
can never associate my penis inside you with anything other than what you feel
now.  so you want it as much as i want it.' you moan in protest. 'wait a little
more baby. a little more. i'll make it better, i promise.'

"i keep whispering it, softly, slowly.  my fingers now finding your nipple; your
breast overflowing into my palm."

my free hand caressed my stomach, i was shivering in the sunshine my senses
alive, my eyes closed and your voice encouraged my movements.  my hand slid under
the vest to lightly circle my nipple, our combined scent wafting to my flaring
nostrils.

"we are kissing, your tongue in my mouth, my tongue in your mouth, our bodies
moving against each other. i reach forward and i unbutton the button of your
slacks, pulling the zipper down.  you shift to push the slacks down your legs and
off your feet. your jiggles and pitches, press your ass against my cock, and i
thrust up to continue the feeling, groaning in the process.

"'i love that sound. i feel it so deep inside me.' you whisper.

"'i love every sound you make.  they stroke my cock.' i reply.

"'fuck me now. fuck me now! please!' trailing off,  you plead, a breathy, choppy
sound in the dark.

"'just a little longer. a little longer.'  i want you to feel the most that you
can at this moment.  i want you to want this so much, that when i come inside
you, there are no doubts left in your mind.

"i caress the mismatched cotton panties over your pussy. the cotton a stark
contrast to the soft lace of your bra. i love that you don't care whether they
match or not, only that they're clean.  an adolescent tomboy lingers. one of your
hands covers the back of my hand and moves it harder into you, your legs opening
wider so i can have the access to you that we both want.

"our mouths return to our highly erotic kisses.  you move my hand, pulling the
band of the panties away from you and pushing my hand into the space between. 
you remove your hand from mine, leaving me to move at will. you know i always
will, won't you baby? the lips of your labia are still together, and for moment i
think that you aren't ready, and not as hot as i think you are.  i use my middle
finger to open you up and i have to fight back my need to be inside you, the
battle between my cock and my head raging. your pussy is slippery, flooded with
your arousal; suddenly my hand is covered with your need, the scent of your
arousal leaps into the space between us, heightening both our senses to an almost
fever pitch.

"i pull away from your mouth, anxious to taste your nipple.  your body has turned
more towards me, and you are pressing more of your chest into mine. i kiss your
neck, moving my finger and adding a second, to increase the pace of this slick,
moist exploration.  i find the ridge inside you that i have been looking for and
i press firmly, massaging the area.  you shudder convulsively, grasping my face
and gasping against my mouth.  the need to be inside you is being drawn out
higher inside me, more and more intense; folding into itself over and over, like
folding steel.  your hands roam my face, my chest.  your hips thrusting down
against my cock beneath you, and my hand inside you.  it is so hot between us,
our sweat is soaking through the clothes still haphazardly clinging to our
bodies.

"my tongue follows a small bead of sweat down your throat, to the valley between
your breasts.  i move across to one beautiful, thick nipple... at the same time
my fingers purposefully moves towards your clit.  you cry out at the stimulation,
your body breaking into shivers, shuddering.

"you cum against my hand, i can feel the fresh rush of slippery lubricant for my
cock.  now is the time to enter you. now. i have to be inside you, i have to feel
the tight walls of your pussy clamping around me; those delightfully amazing
muscles milking me, stealing my soul.

"i quickly remove every piece of clothing you have on, the blouse, bra and now
soaked cotton panties. i lift you into my arms, moving into the moonlight pooling
in the foyer. i want to see every expression when you cum again. i set you on
your feet and i push my trousers and boxers down while you pull my jacket off,
pulling my t-shirt over my head. we sink down to the floor. we settle with you
sitting on my thighs, our legs wrapped around each other.

i was moving my finger against my clit faster, my hips pushing back onto the
earth and forward onto the pressure of my hand against my sex. my breath was
coming hot and i was panting as the need to cum moved into high gear.

"i caress your back, the sweat making slick velvet of your skin.  you lean back,
your hands pushing my head closer to your nipple. your hips bang ungracefully
into mine, our sexes meeting as my mouth closes around the turgid, throbbing tip.
i lift you a little closer so i can thrust into you with the most efficiency in
this position. your legs around my hips, your heels pressing together, an
insistent pressure trying to pull yourself onto my sex. just before i reach
forward to kiss you, i whisper into your mouth:

"'take me inside you. move as you want, whatever you do will feel amazing. take
what you need, take what you want.'

"you move forward and just the tip of my cock touches the entrance to your hot,
hot pussy, the muscles grasping for more. i wait for you to take me into you, 
your hips working with your feet braced on the floor, you take me just inside
you.  a little bit at a time.  you stop halfway and make quick, minute thrusts
with just the head of my cock inside you.  you suddenly plunge downward, pushing
me into what feels like the very centre of your body.  we stay still.  i push
myself in higher, holding your hips and pulling you closer, closer, pushing
deeper.  the moonlight bathes you in blue, mystic,  a nereid, shiva, a spirit
being blushed in blue.   your hips take me into you, moving on my cock, enticing
me to join your movements.  we move to each other, flowing, slowly binding us
closer and closer.

"you press your cheek to mine, you lips moving to my ear. you begin to whisper,
'i love you baby. can you feel it? i love your cock inside me. i can feel the
head of your cock, touching my spot. does it feel that good for you?'"

"my body is on fire i'm so close to cumming; it's taking everything i have to
hold it back. i can feel you trying to pull it out of me but i am holding back
for you. i can only whisper, 'yes.'"

i was so close to cumming at that point, my skin on fire and i was shivering, i
looked at you resting on one elbow watching and talking. your eyes black and your
voice hoarse.  my eyes closed again and the hand kneading my breast, moved down
to my pussy, i moved the boxers aside and i pushed one, then two, finally adding
a third finger inside my pussy, the fingers of my other hand, moving on my clit. 
i was very hot; i thrust them in and out, my hips adding to the rhythm.

"you begin to thrust harder and faster. i can feel your body reaching for it, the
muscles in your pussy...  clutching at me so hard at times that i have to fight
my way in .... " oh god how could  you have known that is exactly how i would
feel; how i felt right then?.  i cried out, and you paused ... your breath
stopped, only the birds singing in the trees around my house, the sun beating
down on me, the sound of the earth throbbing into me.  pushing me higher, closer.

"my entire cock is on fire and i can feel the little tingle revving up in my
balls, the base of my cock. i reach between us and touch you, your arms tighten
around my neck, your breath heated against my ear pushing me higher and higher. 
i slip between us, and touch your clit.  you cry out, hoarse and heated before
you go rigid, your muscles tightening around me; convulsing, tremors kissing my
cock.  that is all i need, i push into you one last time,  fighting your muscles
all the way in for my final thrust. i swell almost painfully, my balls
tightening, then the cum explodes out of me.  my cum pulsing out, i feel your
womb open to receive it.  i feel like i am caught in a loop with you, your body
wrapped around me; me filling you with every drop of feeling i have for you and
this thing that we found in that restaurant that rainy friday evening."

i felt you moving closer to me, your fingers adding to mine.  i cried out again,
almost past reason.

"did you like the story?" you asked, your voice hot next to my ear, sending mad
waves and tremors coursing through me.

"yes! yes!" i sobbed, my back arching.

"i want to cum inside you." you asked, your eyes searching mine.

"yes. please. hurry." i reached to pull my hand from my clit, the scent of myself
on my fingers to reach for your shoulders.  you caught my fingers before i could
rub my juice into your jacket and took my fingers, wet with my fluid,  to your
mouth.

"how is it, that the smell of you can make my cock harden to the point of pain?
do you think it's biological? it feels animalistic." you groaned.  you took my
fingers into your hot mouth, my nipples tingled from the sensation. the feeling
bounced around from spot to spot until my body was liquid; molten.

i couldn't answer the question, my other hand came up to pull on your shirt,
instead i demanded, "come inside me."

you opened your pants, moved over me, and pulled your zipper down with some sort
of dignity, but i wanted you now. "hurry baby, i need you now. i can't wait
anymore. now! now!" you pushed your pants and boxers down; your beautiful cock
sprang out deliciously large.  the sunshine illuminated everything, my need, your
beauty, my love.  you were mine, my lover and i needed you so much.  with
eagerness, i reached up and wrapped my fingers around the rigid, generous length
of your sex.  pulling you down to me, fitting you against my wet, anxious pussy. 
"break it down, break down the wall."  i whispered.

you pushed into me slowly an inch at a time. every time you enter me, it's with
agonizing slowness. before you got halfway in, i came around your cock. my eyes
were open while i fell into the impossible blue of sky, the earth pushing me into
stars.

you stopped, penetrating me with only half of your cock.  "i love that.  i love
that.  the way your muscles clench around me when you cum," you groaned above me.
 i was floating back into myself when you pulled out until the head of your cock
teased the opening of my vagina; then you plunged into me. i screamed, my back
arching up; pressing my chest into yours.  the pressure of your chest on mine
wonderful.  my mind and body hurtled back to a state of anxious need.

then once more, you stopped moving.  you rested against my womb, i could feel the
pulsing in the head of your cock. "have my baby. marry me." the words floated
through the haze of desire i was feeling. we were always careful, agreeing at the
beginning of our relationship that babies was something for the future, that we'd
wait until we were ready for a child; ready to move to that level and condoms
were a very real part of our sex life.

"will you move here, and sell your house in town?' i smiled up at you. i thought
you were kidding. however, when i looked into your eyes, they were dead serious.

"anything, anything.  marry me.  make a baby with me now."  you said with
absolute seriousness in your voice.  we were always careful, agreeing at the
beginning of our relationship that babies was something for the future, that we'd
wait until we were ready for a child; ready to move to that level.

"are you serious?" i asked, completely aware now.  your cock was filling me,
stretching me completely. i could feel the realness of your body, your question. 
i searched your eyes and i could see the simplicity of what was between us.  i
wasn't a fool.  i was happy before you came into my life, only drawing on my past
experiences for knowledge and strength to deal with my life now.  with you, there
was an added texture to my life, that i couldn't deny.  i had been perfectly
happy to continue as we have, without more; but now you were asking me to explore
new territory with you.  i realised i wasn't afraid.  wherever we were going, we
were going together, as we must have before in some time before this.

"yes." i whispered, our gazes locked.

your hips rose and slowly and you thrust slowly back in.  "yes, yes, yes" you
said softly against my mouth, smiling.  i met your next thrust halfway. within
moments i was crying out from the intensity of feeling in me; both love and lust
fused together and i came.  i felt your penis expand and pulse your release into
me; the sky welcoming me again.

it was elemental afterward.  i was at complete peace; your body pressing me into
the ground, my hands stroking the broad expanse of your back. you rolled to the
left, your hand firm on my hip, keeping your cock inside me. our legs moved into
a position to allow us to lie comfortably on our sides. i took several deep
breaths, my heart slowing down, my pussy pulsing with the aftershocks, beating in
time to your tremors.  we lay in silence for nearly a half and hour.  the sun
slipped a little more in the sky, the air getting a little cooler.

"i love you." you whispered finally, kissing me

"i love you." the simple truth blazing in my heart.

"do you think the baby is being formed now?" you lifted your head to look at me
and smiled.

"you must have some powerful mojo working for you if it is." i laughed. "we have
a long time for him or her to show up, so we might as well enjoy every possible
way that we can facilitate it's arrival." your chuckle warmed my ear.

"did you like the story?" you raised yourself onto one elbow and looked down at
me.

"you asked me that already.  yes i loved it." i touched your cheek.

"will you consent to a surprise one night? consent now, because i won't tell you
when."  you said your voice vibrating my breasts.

"alright...  i consent." i smiled. "are you staying the rest of the afternoon?"

you leaned down, your cock swelling inside me,  stretching my already sensitive
tissue, "yes."  you smiled against my lips and thrust into me a little.

Copyright ©1998 by SIC