Four Seasons - June Revelations (FF) [4/4]


Kate's father cursed lightly as the wrench slipped. Kate looked up from 
her reading and settled her deep brown eyes on him.

"Can I help, Daddy?"

"Not really work that you can do, honey. Thanks for the offer though."

Kate bent her head back to her book. The humidity was high today making 
the pages stick together. She didn't mind, she was barely paying 
attention to the words anyway. The sun beat down on the dusty yard. Her 
father was tinkering with the tractor, tuning it up or something. She 
had wandered out to keep him company, and distract herself. She was 
wearing a light yellow sundress and was perched on an old stump left 
from when the land was cleared. Her long brunette hair curled around
her 
shoulders in the slight wind. She'd reread the same sentence twelve 
times, her thoughts elsewhere. A tear escaped and trickled down her
pale 
cheek.

She looked up from her book to find her father standing in front of
her. 
She hadn't noticed as he'd finished up with the mechanical work. He 
crouched in front of her and lay his hard hands on her knees. They were 
clean despite the work he was doing. Probably degreased himself before 
coming over to her. He was thoughtful that way.

"Katie, sweetheart?"

"Mmmmm?" she cocked her head and looked at him quizzically. She
absently 
wiped at the tear running down her cheek, hoping that he wouldn't 
notice. But she knew that he'd notice and she knew what was coming. She 
hoped that she could avoid the discussion once again.

"Katie, you know I love you and I'll butt out. I know it's none of my 
business."

"You're right, Daddy, it isn't."

"You were such good friends."

"I know. We. Just grew apart."

"Something happened. You won't even take her calls anymore. She's
trying 
you know. Whatever she did."

"You couldn't understand what she did."

"Whatever it is, she's trying at least. She calls here every day. And
it 
breaks my heart to have to keep telling her that you don't want to talk 
to her. You used to listen at least, even if you didn't say anything 
into that phone. Now, you won't even listen to her voice."

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Will you talk to her next time she calls?"

Kate bit her lip and slowly shook her head.

"Darling, you have your mother in you. She was stubborn as an old goat, 
too. Think about it. You can't solve nothing without talking about it. 
You're smart, you know that. Linda's worth more than that. You know 
that, too."

"I know, Daddy."

He patted her knee and stood. "I just don't like seeing you this way, 
pumpkin. I really wish I could help."

"You are. You're there." Kate smiled as best she could for her father.

He tried to smile back reassuringly. He really didn't want to impose, 
but she was so darned unhappy these days. He knew it was Linda, but he 
didn't quite understand why. They'd been inseparable. He'd even spoken 
to the Reverend. Linda's father didn't know either. Just that they 
weren't getting along and Linda desperately wanted to talk to Kate. He 
couldn't very well tie her up and force her to listen, though. And he 
loved her far too much to risk directing her wrath at him by butting in 
where he had no right to be. He knew it wasn't right to get involved 
anyway; this was between Kate and Linda. That's why he felt so helpless 
as he turned back to the old tractor. It just broke his heart to see
his 
only daughter like this.

Kate quietly returned to her book. An hour or so had passed when she 
looked up again. Her father had been cursing softly again. Just mild 
cursing, nothing major. Cursing wasn't encouraged in the home.

She rose to her feet and approached her father.

"You want anything to drink?"

"Maybe an iced tea, if you are offering. It's durn hot out here."

She lifted the dress away from her skin at the hips by pinching the 
fabric. "Stuck to me. I guess it is hot."

"You don't have to be out here with me, if you don't want."

"I'll keep you company. Who else will, you cantankerous old man?"

He aimed a swat at her with his oily hands but she danced away with a 
laugh. She ran towards the house and stood by the kitchen window,
mixing 
up some iced tea. She added a few ice cubes to the mixture and poured 
two tall glasses. She sipped at her glass as she returned to the back
of 
the house.

She stopped in her tracks after she'd descended from the porch, a look 
of sadness and longing pervading her features. She stood motionless 
trying to decide what to do. Walk quietly back into the house before 
they noticed her, or deliver the drink to her father then return to the 
house. Her heart was desperately trying to convince her mind to at
least 
say hello. She hadn't seen her in months. Not a word.

Her father glanced up from his conversation with the girl.

"Honey? Please?" he called out to Kate frozen to the spot.

Kate just quickly shook her head, eyes downcast.

"Please, Kate. It's only Linda, honey. She doesn't bite. At least come 
and say hello. We're civil around here."

She doesn't bite? Actually she does, flitted through Kate's mind. An 
unwanted tingle raced through her body at the sight of her neighbour
and 
the memories of her soft bites.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gibson. I. I think I better go." Linda looked across
the 
dusty yard at Kate. "I'm sorry Kate. I truly am." Linda began to walk 
backwards, back the way she had come. Tears had begun to fall from her 
eyes as she slowly moved away.

Kate took a deep breath and forced her feet to make the walk towards
her 
father. She still hadn't uttered a word.

Linda had turned and was walking slowly towards the path. Kate watched 
her, sure she was sobbing. Kate felt a tear fall down her own face 
watching her leave.

"Come on, honey. I know you want to talk to her. I can see it in your 
eyes. You wouldn't be crying if you didn't. All it would take is one 
word before she's gone. Come on. Call her name. Get her back here. I 
miss her, too."

Kate swallowed, feeling the tears intensify. "I. I can't, Daddy. You 
don't understand."

"I don't need to understand." She felt his hand stroking her hair like 
she was a little girl again. He had cleaned his hands recently with 
orange degreaser. She could faintly smell it on the humid air. "All I 
know is that you love her and she loves you. You are going to lose the 
best friend of your life if you don't forgive her for whatever she's 
done to you."

Kate swallowed hard, again, and moved away from her father. She sat
down 
on the old stump and held her face in her hands, sobbing again. Her 
heart ached.

"Linda?" Kate's quivering voice called across the distance from her to 
the other girl. "Don't go," she whispered to herself. Linda was walking 
slowly and was almost out of earshot.

Linda hesitated, almost as if she hadn't quite heard and was frightened 
that the voice was a figment of a hopeful imagination.

"Linda?" Kate called a bit louder and a bit stronger.

Linda turned, her face still completely tear streaked. She took a deep 
breath and tried to control her emotions and her unhappiness. She began 
a slow walk back towards her former friend and lover, giving them both 
time to avoid the encounter if they wanted.

Kate looked over helplessly to her father, tears still streaming down 
her fair features.

He mouthed to her, "I'm proud of you, baby." He nodded, and drink still 
in hand, walked back towards the house, glad to give the girls their 
privacy.

Linda stopped a meter from Kate's seat. The two girls looked at each 
other, both unsure of the other, not quite knowing what to do.

Linda whispered first, "Kate? I don't expect you to forgive me. You
have 
every right in the world to be angry at me. But I am sorry. I am so 
sorry I hurt you. You can't imagine."

Kate began to cry harder, her whole body shaking as she sat on the 
stump, unable to speak. Linda was crying as well, but she desperately 
tried to control herself, wanting so much to talk to Kate. Make her 
understand. It had been so long since she'd even heard Kate's voice.
The 
girls had never fought as long as they had known one another.

Linda let Kate cry for a few minutes while struggling with her own 
emotions.

"I. The only thing I want to do right now is gather you in my arms and 
comfort you. And I can't." Linda spoke quietly.

"Please, don't." Kate choked out. "I'm fine."

"You aren't fine. And I can't stand that I caused it. I'm sorry. I'm 
sorry. I'm sorry."

Linda stepped forward and fell to her knees, her jeans throwing dust up 
from the ground as she dropped. She went to place her hands on Kate's 
knees, the same way Kate's father had earlier, but then hesitated. She 
didn't have the right to touch Kate any more. She'd given it up Easter 
weekend. She rocked back on her heels instead and gazed up at Kate, her 
pain evident on her pretty features.

"Kate? I know you're angry with me. I. Understand. But I don't want to 
lose you. I never did. I loved you. I still do. I swear it. I always 
wanted to be friends. I never wanted this to happen. Do you think I'd
be 
calling here every day if I did?"

Kate struggled to control her sobbing, forcing the tears to stop with
an 
act of will.

"I. I'm not sure I can go back to being just friends. I. I fell in love 
with you. It's my fault. But. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I just want
to 
be alone if I can't have you."

Linda swallowed. "I know. I fell in love with you, as well."

"Then why?"

"I would have explained three months ago if you'd let me."

"I. I wasn't ready to listen. I was hurt. I still am."

"I know. I didn't mean to hurt you. I swear that I was just being 
honest. And I screwed up. I didn't do it properly. Didn't say anything 
right. At the worst possible time. I. I just thought you should know. 
I'd never done anything like that before. I'm sorry. I didn't want
this. 
God, I didn't want this."

"Why him?"

"Oh God. I don't know. I was lonely. It was a mistake. I thought I
liked 
him. He made me forget about everything for a while. You. Here. My 
loneliness."

Kate cocked her head and stared through her tears at Linda kneeling 
before her. She couldn't believe how much it hurt to hear about Lorne. 
Even after all this time. This shouldn't hurt this much. There was
never 
any real commitment except in her heart.

"I discovered something about myself that I've been trying to tell you 
for months now. Ever since I got back. But you won't talk to me."

"Linda? I'm not sure I can do this."

"We're just talking, Kate. I swear, I'm not going to hurt you anymore. 
I'm not expecting anything at all. If you want me to go, I will. I'll 
wait until you are ready. But I'm not going to give up on you. I caused 
this, I'm going to fix it. Somehow. And I'll just wait until you let
me. 
I. I'm persistent. Someday you'll talk to me again. I have to be with 
you. I can't lose you."

"Alright. I'll listen. I don't promise anything though."

Linda swallowed. "I'll take that. And I don't expect you to forgive
me." 
She paused, gathering her thoughts and wiping at the tears on her face. 
"I cried for hours in that loft, you know? I didn't know what to do. A 
part of me died when you left. I contemplated jumping, you know that? I 
was so miserable. If I was sure I would die instead of just breaking my 
stupid arm, I would have. When it got dark, I managed to get myself out 
of the hay we were in together and get my clothes. I missed you so
much. 
It was still raining and I vaguely remember walking into the house with 
my stupid wet white t-shirt. I didn't care anymore. I'm pretty sure
that 
my father and my brother were at the table when I walked in. He didn't 
say anything though I probably gave them a hell of a show. I just
didn't 
care anymore. You were gone. I didn't eat supper. I remember lying on
my 
bed crying my eyes out. I don't even remember falling asleep. It wasn't 
until I got back to school that I realized that I wasn't thinking of 
Lorne when I was crying up there. It was you."

"I cried all night, too. I've been crying ever since. Every night."
Kate 
whispered.

"I was so afraid that I'd never see you again. I was so screwed up. I.
I 
broke up with Lorne on the Tuesday. He still doesn't know why. All he 
knew was that I was upset. And he was okay with it, though we never 
really talked again like we used to."

"I'm sorry." Kate whispered again.

"All I want is you. We. I can't stand that you won't return my calls. 
That you won't speak to me. I know I deserve it. I know I'm a shit. I 
know that you have every right to hate me. But it's tearing me apart. 
I'll do whatever it takes. I swear it. I'll be lonely until the end of 
time. I don't care. Eventually you'll at least be friends with me
again. 
Even if I can't have you like before. I'm not giving up."

Kate hung her head, not being able to fight the tears any longer. Her 
body shook and she climbed slowly to her feet. Without thinking, she 
turned and ran back towards the house crashing blindly through the back 
door and up the stairs. She stood at her window, gazing at the girl 
still kneeling in the dust. She watched as her father walked slowly out 
towards her and helped the sobbing girl to her feet. He gently kissed 
her forehead and steadied her until she seemed to be able to stand on 
her own. He held her as he would his own daughter, letting her cry on 
his shoulder. Tears were still streaming down Kate's face as she stood 
watching, her heart breaking. Linda slowly turned away from the house 
and walked away. She turned once and gazed up at Kate's window, tears 
forming again but she turned and began to walk again, slowly away down 
the path. Kate watched her as long as she could, until she was out of 
sight.

Kate collapsed onto her bed and buried her head in the pillows. She 
sobbed uncontrollably until her father knocked gently some time later. 
It might even have been an hour later; time had ceased to exist for 
Kate.

She savagely wiped at the tears with the back of her hand and ran her 
fingers through her hair. His gentle voice floated through the door.

"Sweetheart? Pumpkin? Please let me in."

"I. Just want to be alone right now."

"Please?"

She nodded, and then realized that he couldn't see her. She took a deep 
breath and whispered, "Come in."

She watched as the door opened in slow motion and he slid quietly into 
the room. He sat down on her bed, cupping her face like he had when she 
was a little girl.

"Honey? I'm proud of you."

"Proud? Of me? Why? Because I ran in here like a little girl? Refused
to 
talk to my best friend? Former best friend? Can't stop crying? Because
I 
can't tell you what's wrong?" Her small fist hammered into her thigh as 
she spoke.

"Proud that you called her back. That you listened to her. Sometimes 
these things take time. I don't pretend to know what you are going 
through, but I know I miss her. My heart leapt when I saw her walk into 
the yard. Loved her voice when she was talking to me out there. I miss 
her. I can't imagine how much you must miss her."

"I. I do miss her. More than you can know."

"And you can't forgive her?"

"I don't know if I can."

"Whatever she's done, is she sorry?"

"She is."

"You know she is?"

"She's sorry. I know it."

"And you still can't forgive her? She was your best friend, honey. 
You've spent your life with her. Playing. Riding. Sharing secrets. And 
she's scared that she'll never see you again."

"I know. And I'm afraid of never seeing her again."

"Call her."

"I. I can't."

"Go see her then. She'll welcome you. I know."

"Daddy. You don't understand."

"I understand enough. Go see her. She's sorry. I'm sure her family is 
missing you, too. I hate to see you both like this. You know how a 
woman's tears pull at you? It's hard on me, too. You cry every day. I 
notice no matter how much you try and hide it."

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Don't worry about me. Just worry about yourself. Whenever you are 
ready. Just don't wait too long. You'll be at school in another couple 
of months. Separated again. If you don't make an effort you will lose 
her. Forever."

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. She cried into 
his shoulder and sobbed until there weren't anymore tears. Her tears 
mixed with Linda's on her father's shirt. He carefully lifted her arms 
from around his neck and lay her back on the bed with a soft kiss on
the 
forehead.

"Go see her. Tonight. One of your midnight excursions. She'll be there. 
Waiting. Hoping. As she has been every night that you two have been 
back."

She looked at him quizzically.

"Don't look at me that way, young lady. You might have been able to
fool 
the Reverend, but I'm a light sleeper. I had to take care of you when 
you were this big and smaller because your mother wasn't here. I may
not 
have heard you every night, but enough to know that you sneaked out 
occasionally. I knew where you were going. I don't know what you did, 
probably talked all night if I know you, but I know where you went. 
Where else would you go? I know how young girls are. And I figured you 
could take care of yourself. I trusted you."

"Thank you, Daddy. That means a lot to me."

"You want some dinner? I can whip up some hot dogs or something?"

She tried to crack a smile for him. He knew that she normally loved hot 
dogs for dinner. "I'm not really hungry."

"If you change your mind, let me know. I'll make you whatever you want. 
And remember, she was your best friend. That counts for something. 
Whatever she did. She didn't mean to hurt you."

Kate nodded and lay back on the pillows. She sighed and glanced out at 
the gathering gloom. She wondered where Linda was and what she was 
doing. The tears returned, silently running down her cheeks.

***

Her alarm softly beeped at 11:45pm waking her from a fitful sleep. Her 
dreams had not been entirely pleasant. She had a lingering feeling that 
she had been tied to a chair and forced to watch Linda and Lorne make 
love gently in front of her. The emotion of the dream faded and within 
minutes she couldn't recall even that she had been dreaming.

She took a deep breath and slipped on her clothing. As she pulled her 
jeans over her hips, she remembered vividly the sight of Linda kneeling 
in the dust crying earlier this afternoon. She pursed her lips and 
fought off her tears. Her stomach was full of butterflies. She hadn't 
made this trek in months. She normally enjoyed the walk or run to the 
Miller residence at midnight, but tonight she was just filled with 
apprehension. She had no clue what she'd say or if she would say 
anything. She didn't even know if Linda was there, or if she would 
respond. She'd been out of touch so long, Linda may have found
something 
to do on these hot summer nights. Perhaps she was at a friend's house
or 
a party.

She'd be waiting for her, her father had said. And he was never wrong.

She slipped out of the room and quietly stepped down the stairs, her 
hand trailing on the wooden banister. As she passed through the
darkened 
living room she almost screamed as she heard the disembodied voice
float 
up from the easy chair.

"Good luck," her father whispered.

Kate swallowed and bit her tongue. She wanted to yell and scream at him 
for scaring her, but she didn't. Instead, she just whispered back, 
"Thank-you." She wondered briefly how many times he'd been sitting
there 
as she carefully sneaked past, silently waiting for her return, making 
sure she was safe.

She felt a little foolish, continuing to sneak out of the house, but 
refrained from turning on the lights. She stumbled to the back door and 
slipped on her running shoes. She walked out into the night.

The clean night air buried itself into her lungs. She'd forgotten how 
invigorating it was. How erotic. She smelled the night and sighed 
heavily. She wondered how this night was going to turn out.

She walked slowly down the winding path towards the Miller's. She 
sometimes ran this part of the journey, but only if she was anxious to 
get there. Tonight, she wasn't even sure she'd signal. Maybe she'd just 
stand on the back lawn and watch her window for a while. The moon was 
nearly full tonight. Not a harvest moon, but it lit the path preventing 
any stumbles.

She arrived on the Miller's back lawn and checked her watch. 12:30. She 
took a deep breath and sat down in the shadows, hugging her knees to
her 
chest. She watched the upstairs window. All the windows were dark. She 
sat there for about twenty minutes fighting with herself. Finally, she 
got to her feet and began to walk towards the house, her right hand
full 
of small stones.

"Kate?" a soft female voice spoke from the back porch.

Kate let out a small scream and immediately dropped the stones. She 
clapped her hands over her mouth and prepared to run like a frightened 
deer back the way she'd come. The female voice laughed softly but not 
unkindly.

"Don't run. Please. I was waiting for you. I've waited for you every 
night for the last month. Even when it rained. Hoping that you'd come. 
You finally show up, and I scare you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to 
frighten you. I can't believe you came."

Kate caught her breath. Linda. The other girl rose from the wicker
chair 
on the porch and stepped down onto the lawn. She didn't run into Kate's 
arms as she used to. Her voice wasn't as playful anymore, just 
sorrowful.

"I saw you sitting there on the lawn. You have no idea how hard it was 
not to run to you, to sit still," Linda spoke quietly.

"You were watching me?"

"Yes. I. I was afraid that you weren't going to come to the house. That 
you were just going to sit there and then leave."

"I was."

"Oh. If you had, I would have let you. You would never have known I was 
here."

"I was going to signal you. With the stones."

"Didn't have to, this time. Will you let me talk? Without running? I'll 
beg you on my knees if that's what you want."

Kate slowly turned and walked back out onto the lawn. She sat down in 
the moonlight and motioned for Linda to join her. Linda padded over to 
where Kate had settled. Kate noticed that Linda was again in her 
nightgown. Barefoot. Linda knelt in front of Kate. How often she had 
removed that nightgown for Kate. Kate felt a tingle again deep inside 
her, but willed it away. She wasn't here for that. Not tonight.

"Kate. I know I was wrong. And I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry until the 
day I die, if you want me to. I'm so sorry."

"I know you're sorry, Linda. I'm sorry, too."

Linda looked a bit surprised that Kate had spoken to her at all. 
"Whatever I can do to make things right, I will. I'll be happy if
you'll 
just talk to me again. Even if you won't be my friend. I betrayed you.
I 
know I did. I. I won't let it ever happen again. I promise. As long as
I 
live. I can't go through this again. You mean too much to me."

Kate whispered so softly Linda wasn't even sure she'd heard it.

"I forgive you." Tears were streaming down her face. Kate reached 
forward and touched Linda's hand. The first physical contact they'd had 
in months. She felt like electricity was flowing from Linda to herself. 
"I've wanted to forgive you for a long long time, but you hurt me so 
much."

Linda closed her eyes and threw her arms around Kate's neck, hugging
her 
fiercely, her breasts mashed into Kate as Kate melted into the intense 
embrace. Linda whispered, "I know I hurt you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 
Kate returned the hug, hungrily, missing the touch of Linda's body so 
much it ached inside of her.

They reluctantly separated and Kate leaned back on her hands in the 
grass. Linda rocked back on her heels. Both girls were very unsure of 
where they were. What they could and couldn't do. It was as though they 
were strangers meeting for the first time. It had been so easy before. 
Kate couldn't remember if she'd ever come at midnight and they hadn't 
been intimate. But it didn't quite seem right, though her body was 
aching for Linda's knowing touches. She was sure that they both wanted 
it. Maybe next time they'd be ready.

They looked at each other for a long time just drinking in the sight of 
one another.

"I was afraid that I would never get to see you like this again," Linda 
spoke quietly. "My whole life felt ... empty. I couldn't stop thinking 
about you."

"I know. I hated you and I loved you. Back and forth. I felt like a
damn 
yo-yo. But it was always you on my mind."

"We'll be alright, won't we?"

"I don't know. I don't know how we're going to be. Let's take it slow? 
Alright?"

Linda reached for Kate and Kate sat up, extending her hand. She gently 
pulled Linda towards her and they embraced again. The two women lowered 
themselves to the grass and just held each other. Kate let her emotions 
flow through her for what seemed like the first time in what felt like 
forever.

Kate whispered, "I don't know if it can be the same as it was."

Linda closed her eyes, fought off her sudden case of nerves, and
lightly 
brushed Kate's lips with her own.

"I meant what I said at Christmas. I do love you. And I always will."

Kate returned the kiss gently. "Let's start again, okay? I think I'm 
falling back in love with you, too, sweety. I really do. Just slow. 
Okay?"